Hairy Back, Leaf-Eating, Sword Toting Spider

Hey, everyone. Sometimes you get a special treat when you live in the woods. For example, I just encountered an odd spider. I wanted to think up a cool name for him but I couldn't think of one. I will call him a hairy backed, leaf eating, sword toting spider. Can you make out the sword design on his back? I suspect that :1) His mom was a Japanese beetle and his dad was a granddaddy longlegs. As such, he grew up with a ninja, anime fetish and had a tattoo put on his back of a sword, to intimidate his enemies. Or 2) There is a legend that whosoever finds the sword on a spider's back and has the strength to lift it, will become the King of Camelot. Perhaps some red neck Merlin has instigated this. 3) This spider has been peeking in the windows and watching me play innumerable games like Prince Of Persia, Warrior Within, Backstab and Hero Of Sparta 2. The spider got so into it that he developed a mutation on his back. He is now a swashbuckler and is intent on rallying all spiders on the mountain to drive the interloping humans into the sea. (Which is a long way from here.)4) The dude eats leaves because he is the oddest of spiders. He is a vegetarian. When he ceased to eat bugs he was sent into exile and now lives a solitary life. A curse was placed on him by the other spiders, in which he must wander the wasteland. Every spider he meets will see the sword and seek to kill him. This is sort of the Jeremiah Johnson of bugs. In that movie a guy lived in the mountains and every Crow Indian sought him out, one at a time, to kill him. A great movie starring Robert Redford. I suppose I could name the big spider Jeremiah or Robert or Redford. That's it, the Redford spider.

Well, hey, if I can think of something a bit less silly to write about, I may put out another post today. From the webbed retreat, I'm CE Wills.

Comments

Four Free Games

Hey, everyone. If free games makes the start of a new week a little better, we're in luck. Check these out on your friendly, neighborhood app store. 1) Cowboys vs. Aliens vs. Ninjas- This is a dual stick shooter, much like Mini-Gore . You are an old-west cowboy with a vast array of weapons (earned gradually). You have to move and shoot, avoiding death, as you battle Ninjas and aliens. Some aliens are quite large. Some enemies are big Sumo Wrestlers. There are sword-wielding ninjas and these aliens that yield a mini-nuclear explosion when killed. When your enemies die they leave behind little stacks of money, or skulls. You collect these items because of a strange hobby of trophy grabbing for your macabre collection. Just kidding, the items can be spent or used as the game progresses. This is a good game and I played it for a while last night. 2) The Heist - A puzzle game with a twist. As you try to open a bank vault, you must face a series of different puz...

Game Review: NFS, Hot Pursuit

This game was one which I refused to download for a while, even though it was on sale for 99 cents. I thought that it looked boring and narrow. Boy, was I wrong! This game totally kicks butt. It is one of those rare games that will actually give you an adrenaline rush. It is that intense. The developers, EA Games, have recently updated the app to include two main avenues of play. You can either be the cops or the racers who are trying to evade the cops. As a racer you have to deal with cops trying to hit you and make you crash, cops buzzing you with helicopters, oncoming traffic, tack strips spread across the road and roadblocks. In the cop mode you are a cop and you are trying to stop a reckless racer by any means, fair or foul. As a racer you can use nitrous oxide for increased speed, overdrive capability and oil slicks. You also can jam the cops communication with a jamming unit. Like almost all games these days, it gets harder as you go along. I prefer my games to...

Shadowgun: Killing The Windbreaker

Hey, everyone. I thought it might be a good time for a bit of an update on the riveting game called Shadowgun. Consider this your spoiler alert and tune out if you want to. Once you get past the dreaded Driller, things get better but you are certainly not out of the woods. You will want to make sure you keep a full clip in your gun as you stroll through the realm of the evil and crazy Dr. Simon. But hey, you're John Slade, the Shadowgun, and wherever you set your foot is the place to which your authority extends. I love the way that some of the barriers disintegrate under the impact of bullets. I didn't learn this at my mother's knee but I darn sure know it now. I have learned that there are certain places it is good to plan on using the rocket launcher. Keep your stock of those filled. There are these transporter guys who are aggressive punks. The only way they respect you is if you kill them, so that's the way I roll. As...

CE Wills

Search This Blog