Skip to main content

An Open Letter to Game Developers

     This is a request to all those game developers that submit games to the app store. Please put an easy category on all your game levels so that semi-geeks can win eventually. I mean, hey, guys. I work a job and other things. I can't just play video games. Another news flash for you, not everyone wants to play on-line multi-player, okay? Don't make the game so we have to have other players to win. That leaves the hermits out in the cold.
    I scrounge and read and work and find some dynamite games. I win some levels, enjoy it, then boom! The grim truth rears its ugly head. I don't play that well.
     Seriously, it's like an epidemic in gaming. Let's take the phenom, Angry Birds. I really like it but I get to a certain level and it drives me nuts trying to overcome, baby! Same with Fragger. On Spiderman, I can't get past the Rhino because he flees too fast. What good are the awesome graphics of N.O,V.A. 2 if the two monstrous mechs blast my scrawny butt back to the stone age every day? Are developers trying to force us all to play multiplayer so that eventually we can link up and solve world hunger and bring about universal peace? I thought games were made to be fun? Perhaps they think we'll have to buy more games, faster, if we can't get past the half-way point on any of them. Great marketing tool.
    It's really simple. Just give an option in the menu. You can even make it a thinly veiled insult. Click Here If You Can't Deal With It And Need A Weakened Experience.
    If you would, let me rant a bit more. I got the free sample of Iron Man. The level they gave me for free was fun because I got to fly. I always wanted to do this but have only been able to do so a few times in my dreams. So I happily skip along to the app store, in my ignorance, and buy the full version. Guess what? The level I just completed is locked until I achieve some stuff. Stuff that would take a 10 year old about a day, maybe. I am still there weeks later. Games that I have written glowing reviews for on these pages now turn on me like a dog that I have fed and nurtured. Games like NFS Undercover and NFS, HOT PURSUIT, BIA2 and others.
    How pathetic is this? Asking your wife to get you past a certain level so you can relax and have fun again? The next thing you know, the developers will be selling level passes for as much as the games. I jest, because at least one developer has already done this, to the outrage of the citizenry.
    So I say to you, oh developers, only half in fun, set the elderly free to have fun. Create an easy button like the commercial. Set my people free.
From the author's green retreat, I'm CE Wills.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Shadowgun: Killing The Windbreaker

    Hey, everyone. I thought it might be a good time for a bit of an update on the riveting game called Shadowgun. Consider this your spoiler alert and tune out if you want to.     Once you get past the dreaded Driller, things get better but you are certainly not out of the woods. You will want to make sure you keep a full clip in your gun as you stroll through the realm of the evil and crazy Dr. Simon. But hey, you're John Slade, the Shadowgun, and wherever you set your foot is the place to which your authority extends.      I love the way that some of the barriers disintegrate under the impact of bullets. I didn't learn this at my mother's knee but I darn sure know it now. I have learned that there are certain places it is good to plan on using the rocket launcher. Keep your stock of those filled. There are these transporter guys who are aggressive punks. The only way they respect you is if you kill them, so that's the way I roll. As you know by now, their strategy
3 comments
Read more

Shadowgun: Crushing The Driller On Level 4

      Hey, everyone. Let's talk about the game called Shadowgun, the I-Pad game with which I have a love-hate relationship. Most of you who made it past the evil Cyber Lobster are doubtless locked in a death struggle with the Driller at the end of level 4. At this point you have been in the cave for a long time. The Driller breaks through the rock wall and chases you through the tunnel as you try to shoot out the green lights which slows the Driller down. If you are slick enough to shoot out all the lights and emerge from the cave, a rolling door crashes on the Driller and crushes his aggravating carcass. I have tried and failed to beat the Driller at least 250 times. I hate the Driller to the heights and depths my soul can reach. I hate it like a plague. I hate it with intensity of feeling. I hate it like a rich man hates taxes. Excuse me, I got carried away.       We had a big dinner here at the green retreat and my friend Trevor was here today. He is my gaming consultant. I tol
3 comments
Read more

To Kill A Lobster (Shadowgun)

    Hey, everyone. I had not planned on posting tonight but I have to make something right. I gave Shadowgun a good review last night but I didn't do it justice. Tonight I got past the vicious Cyber Lobster and went on to play a lot more. This is a terrific game! Last night I would have rated it 4 stars out of 5. Tonight I give it 5 stars out of 5. By the way, here's a spoiler alert. If you don't want to know how to kill the lobster, don't read any further. I say this because I had several people come to the blog that were looking for the silver bullet ( figure of speech from old Dracula movies, not literal weapon for lobster) to kill this behemoth.      When the monster appears, he starts firing missiles at you out of his mechanical mouth. Don't run and hide behind a barrier. Get close to him and run back and forth, dodging missiles until you can blast the lime colored ball of light that appears periodically over his head. I suspect that this is his AI, but Cybe
6 comments
Read more