Uneasy Alliance: Flying Monkeys

     Hey, everyone. I am still playing a bit of March On Oz, the 99 cent game that will surely wind up being a massive hit. Things are not completely perfect in Oz, though, and I'll tell you why. I have to overcome some lifelong prejudice against Flying Monkeys. I feel the need to unburden myself to y'all (Southern for all-inclusive). When I saw the Wizard of Oz, back in the 1950's, the monkeys got on my bad side when they carried Dorothy and Toto off to the castle of the Wicked Witch of the West. To start with, who would work for someone like her? I mean, you are known by the people that you hang out with. Not only that, but they attacked my favorite guy, the Scarecrow. They took some of him and threw it over there, then they threw some over there... He later told me, in confidence, that some of his straw was placed in a barn and became ... contaminated.
    Now, after all these decades, I find myself playing a game in Oz and the Flying Monkeys are my friends and allies. During each battle I can summon the flying monkeys to the fight three times, and I don't even have a crystal ball. Or, if the evil Nomes reach the back lines of my forces, the monkeys will automatically swoop in as they sense my distress. They fly down and swoop up the Nomes and carry them off somewhere. I don't think I want to know where they go, do you?
    A few moments ago, I was assigned the task of capturing a few Nomes for the purpose of scientific experimentation. I shudder to think about the poor devils as lab animals, but hey, they brought it on their own heads. The process of capture is interesting.
    You are given a squad of men called The Green Generals. They are pompous windbags, with big bellies. They tend to frighten and confuse the Nomes with their tall tales of things, 'back in the day'. I was asked to guest star in the game in their ranks but had another engagement. Anyway, you use these generals to sheperd the Nomes into crates. They slap the generals, which is funny, but you can place generals here and there until you force the Nomes into crates. They kick and shout but they are trapped nonetheless.
     One last thing. We saw the ax belonging to the Tin Woodsman, stuck in a stump. A squad of Winkies accosted us. They were looking for the Tin Man and were concerned because he left his ax. I mean, the dude has a thing about his ax. It is like Linus' security blanket, I guess. So now, we have the Winkies as comrades, but with the proviso that we look for the Tin Man. I wonder what the darn monkeys will want? Some sort of Wicked Witch memorabilia? For now, though, they are our friends, here on the fabled Yellow Brick Road.
     I'm CE Wills.

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Shadowgun: Crushing The Driller On Level 4

Hey, everyone. Let's talk about the game called Shadowgun, the I-Pad game with which I have a love-hate relationship. Most of you who made it past the evil Cyber Lobster are doubtless locked in a death struggle with the Driller at the end of level 4. At this point you have been in the cave for a long time. The Driller breaks through the rock wall and chases you through the tunnel as you try to shoot out the green lights which slows the Driller down. If you are slick enough to shoot out all the lights and emerge from the cave, a rolling door crashes on the Driller and crushes his aggravating carcass. I have tried and failed to beat the Driller at least 250 times. I hate the Driller to the heights and depths my soul can reach. I hate it like a plague. I hate it with intensity of feeling. I hate it like a rich man hates taxes. Excuse me, I got carried away. We had a big dinner here at the green retreat and my friend Trevor was ...

You're Aiming the Missile Where?

Hey, everyone, out there in game-land. The number 1 game on the friendly neighborhood app store is Call of Duty: Strike Team . No wonder, because it is a terrific game. The farther I play, the cooler it gets. But before I get to that, what are all these numbers indicating on my gun? Has to be some sort of ammo indicator for the clips, I guess. either that or some of my compadres has trouble doing his math homework. Whatever. Hey. Check out the picture of me hitching a ride on an enemy truck so that my team can infiltrate a missile silo. Do you like the face mask? I bought it at a store called Fashions by Bane. Ha, ha. (Batman Reference) On this mission, my team was assisted by a Russian Spetsnaz squad. How's that for detente, comrade? These Spetsnaz guys make everything fun. What I mean is this. We shoot bunches of enemies and get into the bowels of the silo. We get to the gantry where the missile is (Pictured above) and we see that the rad...

Shadowgun: Killing The Windbreaker

Hey, everyone. I thought it might be a good time for a bit of an update on the riveting game called Shadowgun. Consider this your spoiler alert and tune out if you want to. Once you get past the dreaded Driller, things get better but you are certainly not out of the woods. You will want to make sure you keep a full clip in your gun as you stroll through the realm of the evil and crazy Dr. Simon. But hey, you're John Slade, the Shadowgun, and wherever you set your foot is the place to which your authority extends. I love the way that some of the barriers disintegrate under the impact of bullets. I didn't learn this at my mother's knee but I darn sure know it now. I have learned that there are certain places it is good to plan on using the rocket launcher. Keep your stock of those filled. There are these transporter guys who are aggressive punks. The only way they respect you is if you kill them, so that's the way I roll. As...

CE Wills

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