CE Wills

    Hey, everyone. One of my favorite songs is by Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville. It is titled I Don't Know Much and it features some of the best vocals anywhere. The song is so lovely that it will move you to tears sometimes. I can play it pretty well on my keyboard and Carley and I like to sing along. We do a nice job, for old fogies.       As I was listening to it today, I thought about the words. As I get older it seems I know less. Sometimes the things we formerly believed seem farther away somehow. Much of our arrogance disappears after life kicks the crap out of our egos.    The song goes like this. Look at this face, I know the years are showing Look at this life, I still don't know where it's going I don't know much, But I know I love you And that may be all I need to know.     Sometimes we are so busy that we don't take stock of the important things in life. What really matters. Sure, we know some of the...

   Hey, everyone. I found myself in a bit of a rut. For instance, I wanted something different to eat. I went to the store and bought some odd things. Such as Key Lime flavored marshmallows. Teriyaki Stir Fry. Smirnoff Citrus beer. Peach Almond Oatmeal. Apple Walnut Oatmeal. Dill flavored dip and Nacho Cheese Doritos. Sour Gummy Worms. Dos Equis beer from Mexico (Stay thirsty, my friends.). Fudge Covered, peanut butter filled cookies. Salt and Vinegar Potato chips and Mandarin Orange slices.Orange Chicken and rice dinners. Beef Enchiladas.     I played songs on the keyboard, but I played different songs. Songs I don't normally play. That sort of a day. I think I must be ready for a change.     Back in the day, they used to say that a rut was a grave with the ends kicked out. I know that a rut is comfortable. Some optimistic people would call it being in your own groove. To me it is just a good ole comfortable rut.      I...

    Hey, everyone. I have a friend. He has been hanging around here for more years than I can remember. He is a squirrel, a stuffed animal. Usually he lays around on a bookshelf but lately he has been acting odd. Okay, a few years ago I did an article about The Rainbow Pig , complete with a video. My squirrel friend, his name is Yuck, was insanely jealous because he is inanimate, whereas the Pig is not only multicolored but can walk and wiggle his nose if you wind him up. (He also oinks.)     Well, things festered for a few years. Then, we got a bottle of champagne which came with a small tuxedo around it. Yeah, really. So, Yuck put the tuxedo on and preened around my desk in it, as you can see from the picture above. I admit that he looks very dapper and I complimented him on his outfit. However, I am concerned that he is feeling hurt and vulnerable and unworthy. So, I thought I'd give him some attention and write an article about him.   ...

    Hey, everyone. The other day I participated in the interview feature over on Smashwords. You can read the piece by looking to your right and clicking the Smashwords link to my author page. As I was answering the questions, I mentioned one of my favorite authors, the late, great, James Clavell.     Mr. Clavell was born in Australia to British parents. He lived an adventuresome life, even being interred in a POW camp and later spending time in Changi prison.      When he became an author, it must have been a shock to him, just how gifted he was at it. If you added Tom Clancy's name to Clavell's, you might have the only two writers who are in a class by themselves. All the other great ones are probably a notch down. Of course, that would be a matter of opinion.      Clavell didn't write many books, but seemed to write really huge novels. In fact, I laid this hardcover on the scales and it weighed in at 4 pounds....

     It is surprisingly cold tonight in the desert. Today, I crashed my chopper a few miles away from this isolated village. I was uninjured and God knows there was no shortage of weapons or fuel. I am now the only one left from my squad. The other guys had died horribly during the long day which had just passed.      The reason I say 'horribly' is because they died at the hands of the foul creatures that we had traveled so far to kill. They were subhuman. They were zombies. They were mutated humans, perhaps. All we knew was that an experiment in a desert lab had gone terribly wrong and this new species threatened to overrun humanity and dominate the planet. Their numbers seemed endless. Some of them had learned to use weapons. Some of them had attacked us with rocket launchers, automatic rifles and even their own helicopters. They were not really thoughtless or stupid, but they were motivated by their bellies and by their urge to kill. Yes, th...

    Hey, everyone. It has been a long, tough week. I worked late a couple of nights and my fun to work ratio seemed out of kilter. Today I did some work at home, but I made it a point to take a nap. My mind feels refreshed. It is amazing how a lack of sleep effects bodily functions.      Today I faced an odd thing. I went to the garage and it smelled bad down there. I mean, if I had passed gas it would have been an upgrade. I was concerned that there might be a dead mouse but upon searching the area, I discovered the smell was coming from my mower.???    I mowed the yard yesterday and ran over several large mushrooms. I noticed that on their underneath side there was green mold. The chopped mushrooms clung to my tires and it was really stinking. I took the mower outside and washed the tires.      Speaking of tires,Asphalt 8: Airborne came out this week. I have played it a little and it is fun. It is the newest racin...

     Hey, everyone. I proceeded in my new game tonight. I am speaking of Plants vs. Zombies 2 . I'd like to tell you a little about this third and final 'world' of the Wild West. If you look at the picture you'll see that you have a new plant which  shoots lightning bolts and electrocutes the enemy. There is also a plant which slings water melons. When you feed them plant food they just explode pink melon stuff all over the place. Very cool. Oh, yeah, the zombies skeletel structure shows up when they are shocked. See above.      My personal favorite in this world is the piano player zombie. He comes rolling out with his piano and a funny hat. He plays some great old west type of tunes. When he does, all the other zombies dance and switch lanes . This messes up your defensive formations.There are times when it gets so chaotic that I just sit and watch, a good way to lose.     There are also some gunslinger zombies who wear p...

Hey, everyone. What are y'all doing up so late? It's three o'clock in the morning here. I have been playing Plants vs. Zombies 2 for hours, today. It is a cool game, for sure. I made it to the Pirate level. I have a new weapon for my arsenal of plants. It is a fire-breathing snap dragon. When you feed it plant food, it rises up on its wings and sprays fire over three rows, reducing zombies to black embers. It feels mighty satisfying when you trigger it off. There is a peg-leg zombie. He has a parrot that carries him around. The parrot will snatch your guys off the board, which is counterproductive for you.     There are other zombies who roll barrels toward your lines. They have Long John Silver hats and the pirate do-rags on their heads. It is most amusing.     Don't think I haven't done anything else today. Nooooooo. I went out with Carley and ate mass quantities of food. We went to Outback Steak House. She ate some Pork Tenderloin, so tender that sh...

    Hey, everyone. perhaps the greatest game ever for IOS is Plants vs. Zombies. Today I have been playing the sequel to that game and it is a winner. Yes, Plants vs. Zombies 2 is out and it is a free download with unobtrusive and non-pushy in-apps. There are the normal lovable characters, both heroes and villains, and a lot of new twists. This game is cuter than a spotted puppy pulling a red wagon. There is a bit of subterfuge which you may find amusing, in a historical sense.     In this version, Crazy Dave has a time machine and he takes you back in time to Ancient Egypt, among other places. There are Pharoah Zombies, Dust Storm Zombies that spin onto the stage, and my personal favorite... I have dubbed these rascals The Trojan Camel Zombies. Here's the recipe. I was doing my thing, planting sunflowers and battling the invaders. Suddenly, I noticed something odd about an approaching camel. There were six legs on this camel! To my surprise, it was ac...

     Hey, everyone. One of the odd customs in America is the Easter Egg Hunt. Here at the Green Retreat, we do a hunt every Spring. I just ran across some of the pictures from this years hunt and it is obvious that an artist had sneaked into our midst. The orange egg is a rendering of one of the Angry Birds of gaming lore. If I were a bird and had to pass an egg that size, I would be angry too. Ha, ha.      We typically will dye about 10 dozen eggs and people get quite creative with their quotes and colors, as you can see. Many of the eggs are a bit risque for these pages. After having a few laughs, we hide the eggs. All of them are never found, which is cool. It is amusing to see old men (me) and all ages of folks, walking around with a basket on their arm. Some of the hiding spots are dastardly. Like eggs hidden in the guttering downspouts and ten foot up a tree. The kids are perhaps the most devious at hiding the colorful orbs, goi...

    Hey, everyone. Carley and I went to see the new Matt Damon flick today, which is entitled Elysium. It will be many things to many people and will doubtless be a hit.     It can be an awesome action film, if that is your cup of tea. A tender romance is what you are seeking? Well, it has that covered as well. You dig the high tech, sci-fi scenes, special effects, apocalyptic doom-watching? Oh sure. How about a healthy dose of social consciousness and morality? (A heaping helping). How about cruelty in the workplace? Or perhaps what the abuse of authority can bring when the 'sin' of slightly disagreeing with the powers that be can get you a trip to the hospital as a troublemaker.       Yes, this show has all this and more, wrapped up in a violent red bow. I found it to be 5 stars out of 5. Disturbing, unsettling, exhausting to watch in emotional terms. Good, perhaps great, perhaps art. Should you go? Will it be a happy pill tha...

    Hey, everyone. I have been playing a lot of The Drowning . the excellent new shooter for I-Pad. I just obtained all the parts to a beat up station wagon, which enabled me to travel to The Village in search of a boat. Much to my surprise, the place is infested with a new breed of zombies.     They are stronger than the preceding zombies. It takes three blasts from a Spas shotgun which is upgraded to level twelve to kill the crude oil loving rascals. You will die quickly unless you employ a bit of strategy. Go to the dock pictured above and face off with the critters. As sweet as they are, they can not, as yet,  walk on water, so you needn't be concerned about an attack from the rear, which is huge. Not my rear, but the freedom from attack. Ha, ha.     Also, when you are fighting on the Beach, which you have to do to get your car parts, use the rifle, upgraded to level 3 or 4 and pinch to zoom with the scope. As always, move from p...

    Hey, everyone. I watched a melancholy movie on the T.V. last night. It is called Seeking a Friend For the End of the World. Here's the recipe.      The world has been told that an asteroid spanning 70 square miles is about to strike the earth and eradicate all life on this planet. People begin to react in odd, but varied, behavior. Crime; riots, murder, suicide, everything, is rampant. No one goes to work. There are end-of-the -world parties which are a last gasp at the pleasures of life.     Many people seek religion. Many go to their parents or to their childhood homes. Then all flights are cancelled and almost no one can go anywhere.      Steve Carell, an actor whom I am truly fond of, is the leading man in this show. He stars as a guy named Dodge. Funny name, that. This man has family issues, almost no relatives, and his wife has just left him for another man. He didn't really need the news that he has only 2...

    Hey, everyone. I stayed at home today. I played songs on the keyboard for about an hour and a half this morning, which is unusual for me. Carley and I sang along and it was a lot of fun. Then she fixed me a big breakfast of bacon, eggs, toast and jelly. Then, in the afternoon, came the really thrilling part in which we sat on the porch together. What we do is scoot our chairs together and she uses one ear-bud and I use the other.(Of  her I-Pod). I drank several beers and listened to old tunes. For some reason I was in the mood for songs that rock out pretty good.     I was listening to Joan Jett singing I Love Rock and Roll and I thought that she was turning the gender tables a little bit and watching the young dude at the juke box, like Chuck Berry talking about Go Little Queenie . Good for her, and speaking for myself as a 17 year old guy, I would have welcomed her attentions. Ha, ha.     My day was not totally boring, however...