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I Don't Know Much

    Hey, everyone. One of my favorite songs is by Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville. It is titled I Don't Know Much and it features some of the best vocals anywhere. The song is so lovely that it will move you to tears sometimes. I can play it pretty well on my keyboard and Carley and I like to sing along. We do a nice job, for old fogies.
      As I was listening to it today, I thought about the words. As I get older it seems I know less. Sometimes the things we formerly believed seem farther away somehow. Much of our arrogance disappears after life kicks the crap out of our egos.
   The song goes like this.
Look at this face,
I know the years are showing
Look at this life, I still don't know where it's going
I don't know much,
But I know I love you
And that may be all I need to know.
    Sometimes we are so busy that we don't take stock of the important things in life. What really matters. Sure, we know some of the answers and can quote them when needed but do we live them? Maybe.
Look at these eyes
They never see what matters
Look at these dreams
So beaten and so battered
      Yes, the dreams take a beating. I'd be embarrassed to tell you all the dreams I had, that have fell by the wayside. Most of them I'd care little about today, if I thought about them at all. Really, young dreams are usually sort of shallow. Wealth, fame, dating a rock star, a mansion, travel, power, high office, awards, glory, recognition. While certainly cool, they can be a two edged sword.
     For instance, lets talk about possessions. It has occurred to me that they sort of possess us, rather than the other way around. I had a boat or two, back in the day. They were a constant source of expense and work. They were a pain to hook up, haul to the lake, put in the water, use, take out of the water, haul home etc. At one time, I had two houses. Good Lord, what a massive pain in the butt that was.
     If you're lucky enough to find a good woman or guy, and by the grace of God they care for you, it is a huge step on the road of life. More so than a career with all its trimmings. If you have one or two really good friends that will stick to you, you have found treasure that Fort Knox couldn't hold.
     If you have children that are not astray, in jail, on drugs or some such horror, you have had good fortune that shames winning the Lottery. If you can lay down at night next to a sweet lady and have enough peace to sleep, if you can lay aside grudges and hate and be at peace, you are defecating in high cotton. If you can say in your heart, on your death bed, that you wish ill fortune to no human, you are treading on a nice path.
      When I was in some serious training, I could draw, from memory, every system in a nuclear plant. Every valve, every temperature well, every instrument in that system, and explain to a board of three engineers how they worked. Most of that knowledge has vanished now. It was ephemeral, like the morning mist. Professionally and in many other ways, I consider myself the biggest sort of failure. In truth, I don't know much, but I know my kids and grand kids are really fine, I know I couldn't find a better wife or mother for those kids. I really am pretty good at forgiving people, though I am still working on that. Regrets, too many to mention, yet most of them are more about being mean to people than about "Wow, I lost a lot of money by not doing that differently".
    It is typical, when you get older, to reflect on your life a bit and few of us are very proud of it. The song, My Way is a great song but I suspect that few of us are that arrogant about our life. I am not. Yes, I don't know much, but that in itself is a lot to know.
From the author's green retreat, I'm CE Wills.
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