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The Overdressed Squirrel Named Yuck

    Hey, everyone. I have a friend. He has been hanging around here for more years than I can remember. He is a squirrel, a stuffed animal. Usually he lays around on a bookshelf but lately he has been acting odd. Okay, a few years ago I did an article about The Rainbow Pig, complete with a video. My squirrel friend, his name is Yuck, was insanely jealous because he is inanimate, whereas the Pig is not only multicolored but can walk and wiggle his nose if you wind him up. (He also oinks.)
    Well, things festered for a few years. Then, we got a bottle of champagne which came with a small tuxedo around it. Yeah, really. So, Yuck put the tuxedo on and preened around my desk in it, as you can see from the picture above. I admit that he looks very dapper and I complimented him on his outfit. However, I am concerned that he is feeling hurt and vulnerable and unworthy. So, I thought I'd give him some attention and write an article about him.
    Yuck has a thing inside him. If you squeeze him in the right place, he makes a giggling sound. Actually, it is a trilling sound, like someone growling low. If he ever dies, I intend to perform an autopsy just to see what the heck kind of implant the old boy has in there. It feels like a box. It's macabre to talk about.
    I've been thinking about trimming Yuck's mutton chop whiskers. See how far they stick out from his jaws?
    You know what really bothers me? I can't remember how the dude got his name. I'm positive that he didn't come from the factory with that moniker. It seems like someone dropped him in something that was, well, ... yucky. Frankly, we should have named him something else. Probably he has inferiority issues due to the sorry name. Would you like to go through life with the name, "Yuck Smith" ? I don't think I would.
     Yes, you are correct, I am bored. Hey, tonight is new game night! I am hoping for a cool game to play. I am still only one third of the way through my re-read of Noble House, though.
     I must dash so I wish that your day would not be boring and your squirrels would not be ... fragile.
    From the author's green retreat, I'm CE Wills.

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