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Lady Cardinal

   
Hey, everyone. I have a certain chair that I normally sit in when I am on the front porch. My butt is talented enough so that it can sit in any chair 'but' it prefers this one particular chair. I sit there and prop my feet up on the porch rail and it is quite comfortable.
     A week or so ago I noticed that a bird, a lady cardinal, was flying back and forth into the bush next to me. I am not speaking of the college basketball team (Stanford), but a real female cardinal. Seriously, the bird has built a nest within 2 feet of my chair and has done it while I was sitting there. I mean, this ****** bird has all the woods around here, all the trees, and it chooses to build so close to me that it could count the hairs on my head. I reflected on this bizarre behavior over the course of the day and came up with several intriguing scenarios. Before I list them, let me say that the nest has two small eggs in it.
1) The bird has monitored me closely and knows that I hate cats and that I refuse to allow them on my porch. So, this cardinal thinks I'm Vito Corleone and seeks my 'protection'. Knowing full well that 'the day may come when I ask for a favor in return'. That day may never come but someday this bird may have to do a favor for Don Birdzini. (Me)
2)The cardinal saw my pointed nose and thought it was a beak. It became infatuated with me and decided that I was just a rather large bird with a pot belly.
3) The bird saw my blog post in which I told about how a female cardinal had flown into my window and broken its neck. I took its picture and put it on the blog with the story. She desires the same sort of fame, without the same sort of pain.
4) I occasionally eat sunflower seeds while seated in that chair. I toss the shells over the rail. The lady cardinal wrongfully assumed I was leaving some sort of twisted offering for her and she wanted a nest, an apartment, as it were, convenient to her food source.
5) The bird overheard me tell someone that the female cardinal was drab compared to the male. So, she plans to be like an albatross around my neck, ala The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner.
     This bird actually faces the exact same direction as I do. Every day. Odd. 
      From the author's green retreat, I'm CE Wills.
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