The Heel Licker (Rated G)

    Hey, everyone. I heard an odd story the other day. It seems a lady was cleaning her flower bed. She was on her hands and knees and she was wearing flip-flops. (Sandal-like shoes with no heel.) She felt something wet on her heel and discovered that a snake was licking her heel. This story is so weird that I must assure you that it is true. Of course, the lady freaked, as would I. She had her husband come and kill the snake.
     I don't intend to take the snake's part on this dispute. But here are a few thoughts on this odd event.
1) This snake could have been an ambassador for snakes everywhere. Knowing the historic bad feelings between ladies and snakes, he came to make peace. He humbled himself to the point of licking a woman's heel. What was the thanks he got? He got chopped up with an axe.
2) He could have been sitting around the snake bar, talking with the guys and heard someone say, "Hey, they taste like chicken."
3) He may be wanting to become a professional coach. (Don't ask)
4) It was his flower bed. He had been wanting to clean it up for a month. He was sickly, however, and didn't have the energy. In an overwhelming display of gratitude he licked his new friend. She misunderstood his attentions.
5) This snake was very old and had no teeth. He tried to gum the lady to death and it didn't work out for him.
6) This snake was near-sighted. The lady was white and she looked like an ice cream cone. The odd texture of her skin just made it seem like swirly, soft serve. His advice to future generations would be "Just go to Baskin-Robbins".
7) This snake had been smoking pot and was so mellow that he 'just felt love for everybody'. He grew his hair long, wore some beads around his neck and went out to make friends. He should have stayed at the airport.
     In an unrelated but equally odd story, I had a strange bird encounter this morning. I was playing my keyboard in front of the glass doors. I was playing the song My Girl by Smoky Robinson. When I reached the part where I was singing "I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees", this bird called an Eastern Phoebe flew up to the glass. He listened a moment, then flew to a branch and sat a minute. I figure he heard my brag and came to check me out. He probably sniffed and said, "That ain't sweeter than my song, big guy." I fear that he may sue me for false advertising. Check for his tweet on the subject in Twitter.
    Well, this is about all the silliness I can stand for one blog post. I'm out of here.
From the author's green retreat, I'm CE Wills.