Skip to main content

The Heel Licker (Rated G)

    Hey, everyone. I heard an odd story the other day. It seems a lady was cleaning her flower bed. She was on her hands and knees and she was wearing flip-flops. (Sandal-like shoes with no heel.) She felt something wet on her heel and discovered that a snake was licking her heel. This story is so weird that I must assure you that it is true. Of course, the lady freaked, as would I. She had her husband come and kill the snake.
     I don't intend to take the snake's part on this dispute. But here are a few thoughts on this odd event.
1) This snake could have been an ambassador for snakes everywhere. Knowing the historic bad feelings between ladies and snakes, he came to make peace. He humbled himself to the point of licking a woman's heel. What was the thanks he got? He got chopped up with an axe.
2) He could have been sitting around the snake bar, talking with the guys and heard someone say, "Hey, they taste like chicken."
3) He may be wanting to become a professional coach. (Don't ask)
4) It was his flower bed. He had been wanting to clean it up for a month. He was sickly, however, and didn't have the energy. In an overwhelming display of gratitude he licked his new friend. She misunderstood his attentions.
5) This snake was very old and had no teeth. He tried to gum the lady to death and it didn't work out for him.
6) This snake was near-sighted. The lady was white and she looked like an ice cream cone. The odd texture of her skin just made it seem like swirly, soft serve. His advice to future generations would be "Just go to Baskin-Robbins".
7) This snake had been smoking pot and was so mellow that he 'just felt love for everybody'. He grew his hair long, wore some beads around his neck and went out to make friends. He should have stayed at the airport.
     In an unrelated but equally odd story, I had a strange bird encounter this morning. I was playing my keyboard in front of the glass doors. I was playing the song My Girl by Smoky Robinson. When I reached the part where I was singing "I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees", this bird called an Eastern Phoebe flew up to the glass. He listened a moment, then flew to a branch and sat a minute. I figure he heard my brag and came to check me out. He probably sniffed and said, "That ain't sweeter than my song, big guy." I fear that he may sue me for false advertising. Check for his tweet on the subject in Twitter.
    Well, this is about all the silliness I can stand for one blog post. I'm out of here.
From the author's green retreat, I'm CE Wills.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Four Free Games

     Hey, everyone. If free games makes the start of a new week a little better, we're in luck. Check these out on your friendly, neighborhood app store. 1) Cowboys vs. Aliens vs. Ninjas- This is a dual stick shooter, much like Mini-Gore . You are an old-west cowboy with a vast array of weapons (earned gradually). You have to move and shoot, avoiding death, as you battle Ninjas and aliens. Some aliens are quite large. Some enemies are big Sumo Wrestlers. There are sword-wielding ninjas and these aliens that yield a mini-nuclear explosion when killed. When your enemies die they leave behind little stacks of money, or skulls. You collect these items because of a strange hobby of trophy grabbing for your macabre collection. Just kidding, the items can be spent or used as the game progresses. This is a good game and I played it for a while last night. 2) The Heist - A puzzle game with a twist. As you try to open a bank vault, you must face a series of different puz...
Post a Comment
Read more

Game Review: NFS, Hot Pursuit

    This game was one which I refused to download for a while, even though it was on sale for 99 cents. I thought that it looked boring and narrow. Boy, was I wrong! This game totally kicks butt. It is one of those rare games that will actually give you an adrenaline rush. It is that intense. The developers, EA Games, have recently updated the app to include two main avenues of play. You can either be the cops or the racers who are trying to evade the cops. As a racer you have to deal with cops trying to hit you and make you crash, cops buzzing you with helicopters, oncoming traffic, tack strips spread across the road and roadblocks. In the cop mode you are a cop and you are trying to stop a reckless racer by any means, fair or foul. As a racer you can use nitrous oxide for increased speed, overdrive capability and oil slicks. You also can jam the cops communication with a jamming unit. Like almost all games these days, it gets harder as you go along. I prefer my games to...
Post a Comment
Read more

Shadowgun: Killing The Windbreaker

    Hey, everyone. I thought it might be a good time for a bit of an update on the riveting game called Shadowgun. Consider this your spoiler alert and tune out if you want to.     Once you get past the dreaded Driller, things get better but you are certainly not out of the woods. You will want to make sure you keep a full clip in your gun as you stroll through the realm of the evil and crazy Dr. Simon. But hey, you're John Slade, the Shadowgun, and wherever you set your foot is the place to which your authority extends.      I love the way that some of the barriers disintegrate under the impact of bullets. I didn't learn this at my mother's knee but I darn sure know it now. I have learned that there are certain places it is good to plan on using the rocket launcher. Keep your stock of those filled. There are these transporter guys who are aggressive punks. The only way they respect you is if you kill them, so that's the way I roll. As...
3 comments
Read more