Maximizing My Payne

    Hey, everyone. You guys really need to go buy the new I-Pad game called Max Payne Mobile. I have played it for hours this week and I am enjoying it.
    In the above picture, I had shot a canister of pressurized gas. I was needing to get through a locked door and this seemed like a fun way to do it. I wouldn't recommend doing this at home or in any real-life scenario, but for games it is okay. Last night I was walking on steam pipes 10 stories off the ground, in order to get from one building to another. You can even stop at soft drink machines, televisions and phones and they work.
    I was in a hallway of a building and a bomb went off. The door was still in front of me, but the walls around the door were gone. Very cool. For $2.99, you can't beat this game.
   If you don't want to spend any money, try these freebies.
1) Paper Monsters
2) Fly Boy
3) Feed That Dragon
   Be advised, I haven't played these games and I am not recommending them because I just downloaded them myself. For the puzzlers among you, try Chubby Bunny. In this free game, you have to eat carrots in the right order, so that there are no carrots left when you reach the end. It is not my type of game but you may like it. It is a nice game for kids, and for adults, for that matter. I'd rather battle gangsters in Max Payne Mobile. Speaking of Max, let's talk about the @**!! rats! On the lower levels of the buildings there are a lot of rats. I loathe rats. I finally started shooting the filthy vermin, which is okay. They squeak and their claws make a clicking noise on the tile when they run. They come right up to you and are apparently not afraid of Max Payne. At least until I shoot them with a sawed-off shotgun.
   From the author's green retreat, I'm CE Wills.

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Shadowgun: Crushing The Driller On Level 4

Hey, everyone. Let's talk about the game called Shadowgun, the I-Pad game with which I have a love-hate relationship. Most of you who made it past the evil Cyber Lobster are doubtless locked in a death struggle with the Driller at the end of level 4. At this point you have been in the cave for a long time. The Driller breaks through the rock wall and chases you through the tunnel as you try to shoot out the green lights which slows the Driller down. If you are slick enough to shoot out all the lights and emerge from the cave, a rolling door crashes on the Driller and crushes his aggravating carcass. I have tried and failed to beat the Driller at least 250 times. I hate the Driller to the heights and depths my soul can reach. I hate it like a plague. I hate it with intensity of feeling. I hate it like a rich man hates taxes. Excuse me, I got carried away. We had a big dinner here at the green retreat and my friend Trevor was ...

You're Aiming the Missile Where?

Hey, everyone, out there in game-land. The number 1 game on the friendly neighborhood app store is Call of Duty: Strike Team . No wonder, because it is a terrific game. The farther I play, the cooler it gets. But before I get to that, what are all these numbers indicating on my gun? Has to be some sort of ammo indicator for the clips, I guess. either that or some of my compadres has trouble doing his math homework. Whatever. Hey. Check out the picture of me hitching a ride on an enemy truck so that my team can infiltrate a missile silo. Do you like the face mask? I bought it at a store called Fashions by Bane. Ha, ha. (Batman Reference) On this mission, my team was assisted by a Russian Spetsnaz squad. How's that for detente, comrade? These Spetsnaz guys make everything fun. What I mean is this. We shoot bunches of enemies and get into the bowels of the silo. We get to the gantry where the missile is (Pictured above) and we see that the rad...

Shadowgun: Killing The Windbreaker

Hey, everyone. I thought it might be a good time for a bit of an update on the riveting game called Shadowgun. Consider this your spoiler alert and tune out if you want to. Once you get past the dreaded Driller, things get better but you are certainly not out of the woods. You will want to make sure you keep a full clip in your gun as you stroll through the realm of the evil and crazy Dr. Simon. But hey, you're John Slade, the Shadowgun, and wherever you set your foot is the place to which your authority extends. I love the way that some of the barriers disintegrate under the impact of bullets. I didn't learn this at my mother's knee but I darn sure know it now. I have learned that there are certain places it is good to plan on using the rocket launcher. Keep your stock of those filled. There are these transporter guys who are aggressive punks. The only way they respect you is if you kill them, so that's the way I roll. As...

CE Wills

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