Maximizing My Payne

    Hey, everyone. You guys really need to go buy the new I-Pad game called Max Payne Mobile. I have played it for hours this week and I am enjoying it.
    In the above picture, I had shot a canister of pressurized gas. I was needing to get through a locked door and this seemed like a fun way to do it. I wouldn't recommend doing this at home or in any real-life scenario, but for games it is okay. Last night I was walking on steam pipes 10 stories off the ground, in order to get from one building to another. You can even stop at soft drink machines, televisions and phones and they work.
    I was in a hallway of a building and a bomb went off. The door was still in front of me, but the walls around the door were gone. Very cool. For $2.99, you can't beat this game.
   If you don't want to spend any money, try these freebies.
1) Paper Monsters
2) Fly Boy
3) Feed That Dragon
   Be advised, I haven't played these games and I am not recommending them because I just downloaded them myself. For the puzzlers among you, try Chubby Bunny. In this free game, you have to eat carrots in the right order, so that there are no carrots left when you reach the end. It is not my type of game but you may like it. It is a nice game for kids, and for adults, for that matter. I'd rather battle gangsters in Max Payne Mobile. Speaking of Max, let's talk about the @**!! rats! On the lower levels of the buildings there are a lot of rats. I loathe rats. I finally started shooting the filthy vermin, which is okay. They squeak and their claws make a clicking noise on the tile when they run. They come right up to you and are apparently not afraid of Max Payne. At least until I shoot them with a sawed-off shotgun.
   From the author's green retreat, I'm CE Wills.

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Shadowgun: Crushing The Driller On Level 4

Hey, everyone. Let's talk about the game called Shadowgun, the I-Pad game with which I have a love-hate relationship. Most of you who made it past the evil Cyber Lobster are doubtless locked in a death struggle with the Driller at the end of level 4. At this point you have been in the cave for a long time. The Driller breaks through the rock wall and chases you through the tunnel as you try to shoot out the green lights which slows the Driller down. If you are slick enough to shoot out all the lights and emerge from the cave, a rolling door crashes on the Driller and crushes his aggravating carcass. I have tried and failed to beat the Driller at least 250 times. I hate the Driller to the heights and depths my soul can reach. I hate it like a plague. I hate it with intensity of feeling. I hate it like a rich man hates taxes. Excuse me, I got carried away. We had a big dinner here at the green retreat and my friend Trevor was ...

Faerie In a Glass Jar

Hey, everyone. Sometimes gaming can be high-pressure. Take tonight, for instance. I was playing the excellent puzzle game titled 4 Elements #2. I have already done a review of it so I won't attempt to do so again. You have to match symbols and use 'power-ups' to get molten lava to flow around a board and bring life back to a faerie world. Cool. That's what I do. I'm into it. There are also a variety of mini-puzzles such as hidden objects and even putting together a jigsaw puzzle. Hey, when I get in trouble I call Carley. Anyway, tonight, Carley wasn't around when a crisis struck. I was confronted with a faerie in a glass jar. She was crying for help. She said that she was running out of air. Every minute or two she would rattle the jar. In order to free her, I had to find all these objects and use them. Like there were some missing books. Then there was the pieces of a torch. When I found them I could light all the candles. I found the pieces of ...

Book Review: Box

Hey, everyone. I just finished the latest novel by John Locke. It is titled Box . It is the story of a world renowned surgeon named, coincidentally, Gideon Box. Dr. Box is brilliant in his chosen field of endeavor but less skilled in anything that involves social interaction. He can't get along with people and is so bad at relationships that his flings at 'romance' normally involve strippers, lap dances and on-line dating services. After a grueling operation, Box goes on a bender that involves going to visit three women in rural Kentucky that he 'met' on line. I would like to say that these women run the gamut between harmless and dangerous but that would be a misrepresentation. They are all dangerous. One of them has lied about all her particulars. Worse than that, she has pet seahorses and makes a particular powder that can be used as a weapon. The powder contains ground glass, among other things. Without giving ...

CE Wills

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