The Pain and Joy of Thor

    Hey, everyone. Doubtless, you gamers think that I have deserted you. I say unto thee, nay. I want to talk in depth about Gameloft's game called Thor, The Dark World. I have a love/hate relationship with this game.
    I have played the darn thing for about 100 hours or more. I find it to be complex, addicting, (a word overused by gamers) and fun. To play it very far you will probably have to buy some in-apps unless you are a far better gamer than I, which wouldn't take much of a stretch. At the present time, though, I believe the game is free, which is a good price. Ha, ha.
     Also, there are some glitches in this game. As I mentioned on a previous post, I bought an in-app that I didn't receive. Then there were times when I didn't receive rewards that I had earned in-game. Furthermore, I got a message from them that stated they were loading an on-line profile ********* blah blah. When I clicked yes, it loaded an old save point which cost me some in-game coin. I guess they finally fixed that bug 'cause it stopped doing that.
    But, let's talk about the game play for a bit, shall we? If there is one thing that I can't abide, its a dark elf and it seems like these good ole boys have decided they want to return the Nine Realms to their former darkness. This game has you/me, as Thor, going from world to world, fighting vermin. And are there a variety of vermin? I say unto thee, Yea. Sorry, you play this game long enough, you start talking like the god of thunder, and no wonder. I had to say that because it rhymed.
     Anyway. At present there are only five of the nine realms available to  play. I am on the fifth and final world available, which is Vanaheim. That is located in California, I think. Ha, ha. Nah, that's Anaheim. Whatever. In each world, Thor will have about 15 battles. In each battle, if you win, you can receive from 1 to 3 stars. There are points in the game beyond which you cannot advance without sufficient stars. Hey, it was the same in the first grade, where I went to school. Fred Flintstone, my classmate, always got a lot of stars. But I digress.
     The worlds are as follows, with Gameloft working furiously to produce the other four: (Heck, the dark elves may overrun those realms if they don't hustle.)
Asgard
Jotunheim
Nidavellir
Svartalfheim
Anaheim
Vanaheim

    Check out this dashboard. On the top, you have Options, Tournament Standing, and a journal for events,I guess. Under that tab is the rewards you earn for accomplishments. Then, where the gold helmet is, you have my level (25); a hard earned 25, I assure you. Then you have my in-game coin, of which I have a paltry 19,259. Then there is a purple chip, which signifies I have a pathetic (2) Iso-8. This is a mysterious substance that aliens have sprinkled throughout the universe and all Marvel games. I think it makes you crave an audience with Stan Lee. Next to that are my Runes. This is also a form of currency but it is much harder to achieve and your in-apps come in this form. The in-apps are ridiculously priced, as with the vast majority of games. I have bought a whopping $7 worth thus far in my career as the Hammer Swinger Par Excellance. You can get runes as a reward if you do stuff like "Kill 100 Enemies". Nuff said.
    On the bottom row, notice on the left, Thor. When you tap that, you can see either his armor choices or his weapon choices. There are a multitude of armors for old goldilocks, from Dark World Casual to Classic. Different armors are ... well, different. For instance, one is resistant to cold. This is handy when you battle ice giants, which are my especial enemies. If I had my way, there would not be a single ice giant left on the nine worlds.
     The other side of the Thor button shows you his Hammers. Ha, ha. that sounds funny. Okay, I grew up with the big guy only having Mjolner. Now you can upgrade with Wolf Killer, Back Breaker and others. I was ecstatic recently when I bought Deathblow. This ominous sounding weapon (or was it Storm of Metal?) unleashes a poison that causes instant death to the aforementioned ice giants. I cannot begin to tell you how great it feels to kill an ice giant with a single blow. After being bullied by these cold-hearted rascals...
     Needless to say, some grinding is involved in upgrading your stuff. Bummer. In-game cash, runes etc. is constantly being earned and spent. Sometimes you can return to previous battles and earn more stars as you get better weapons and armor.
    Next on the bottom bar is skills. This is an incredibly complex arrangement of stuff that needs constant attention. Things that boost damage or mana, speed or HP Regen. It is a rather fun pain in the butt. That didn't come out right, but you get my drift. After every sucessful battle you get Iso-8 with which you upgrade these skills. Cool.
    Next are the allies. I could write a book about this section. At first you will think, "Why should I invest in this bunch of freeloaders?" They are expensive and are sort of fair weather friends. You play one battle and they have to 'recover for a while'. This trys to induce you to spend runes to 'heal' them. It is a flagrant cash grab. I wouldn't be in a hurry to buy any allies. Like most of the investments you make in this game, the increase in abilities or whatever, come at an almost infinitesimal rate. True, it will all build until you are a fairly bad dude, but it is painstaking process. For instance, The Lady Sif is up to level 6 and she is getting to be fairly valuable. Her ability is in healing members of your party. Then she has a cooldown before she can heal again, like a Doctor who plays one round of golf between patients.
    At the present time, I have Sif, Volstagg, Fandral, and Hogun, who freezes enemies. Loki and Odin are so expensive you'd have to own Asgard itself in order to buy them.
    Next is the Einherjar. Remember in Norse legend when the Valkyrie chicks would come to get the fallen warriors and carry them to Valhalla? Well, you can have some of your very own! They are my favorite helpers. They carry a bow and are great against flying enemies. Even Thor has trouble with some flyers like demons because he throws the hammer more at ground level. These blond haired, bouncy, brave ladies are a delight. I have built mine up to level seven. You don't have to rest them or stuff like that. For this reason, they are better than the allies. You have Royal Guards, who are huge but sissified in battle until you get them to a high level. Then there is the Alchemist, who throws great balls of fire, like Jerry Lee Lewis. Healers and Lancers round out the pack. In some battles I may have a dozen or more of these helpers by my side, selling their lives dearly. It warms my heart to see how willing they are to sacrifice themselves for me...and the realm eternal. Sorry, I got off into character for a moment. Nonetheless, I am ever in the forefront of battle.
    Let me finish by discussing the foes, and there are many. They are the scum of five worlds and cannot be trusted. There is no quarter asked nor given. Here they are:
Giant worms that bite
Flowers that spit poison
Shooters with ray guns
Swordsmen
Destroyers with Wolverine hair-dos
Dogs, both regular and extra large
Huge automatic gun turrets that follow your movements.
Force fields. When possible, stay back and let the bad guys come through to you.
Winged vampires.
Ice Giants.
Stone giants.
Tower Turrets.
Huge Yellow Uglies that body slam you. That about wraps it up.
   So, yeah, it is a good game. Verily.
From Asgard, this is CE Wills.