Hey, everyone. During my recent sabbatical from the blog, I saw and did a ton of things which I woulda, shoulda, coulda blogged about. Books I read, movies I saw, games I played and things I did. One of these was the day that the new I-Phones came out. I had not been planning on buying one of them but had been following their hype machine with interest. My wife had been interested in a new phone and as you know, I don't like being left out, like any kid.
Carley was havingangry heated, less than cordial exchanges with Verizon and wanted to enroll in Wal-Mart's pay as you go plan, Straight Talk(?). Well, Straight Talk only has older phones available, at that time anyway. We had discussed the subject almost to death and not done anything. So, about 1P.M of launch day I decided to stop at a big Verizon store. To my shock they had two I-Phone 6, gold, 16 Gig devices left. Hoping I was unobserved, I fondled the sleek, thin golden body with the white face. It was elegant, it was the most beautiful piece of tech gear, the most attractive phone I had ever seen.
Carley wanted to try a Samsung so she got the latest, greatest version of that phone. I bought the I-Phone. It was a Yin/yang thing. I did not get the I-Phone 6 Plus. Heck, the I-Phone 6 was huge. It fit in my pocket but I was very aware of it being there and felt more comfortable laying it on the table when we sat down at O'Charley's a few minutes later. This trend continued over the next few days. You could clearly see the outline of it in my pants and it looked big. It is with difficulty that I resist all the puns about the similarities to guys who wear tight jeans to show their equipment.
For five days I did things with the phones. The Samsung had something like 4 pages of apps pre-installed. When she turned the phone on, they started downloading a ton of updates that amounted to several Gigs of data. Also, they wanted to report in to the owners so this was a battery drain. Some of them could not be deleted, which was thought-provoking, bad thoughts. Plus, Samsung was a different Eco-system from what I was used to. The display was fantastic, though. The pictures and video surpassed my phone, which made me jealous. Mature, right?
I had to go through the I-Phone too. Setting up the privacy stuff is a big deal to me. Many things that should have been automatically 'opted out' were 'opted in'. I won't go through them, lest you wind up being as paranoid as me. Sometimes I wonder if this has something to do with being an ardent gamer?
I was surprised that the I-Phone only showed one bar of signal strength here at my place in the valley. The Samsung didn't do much better. As you know, you have a week of grace to return a new phone to Verizon. I find this very decent of them and I appreciate it. As the deadline approached I was tempted to return the phone and my wife was having thoughts about her phone as well. The two-year commitment, the contract, was part of that thought process. When IOS 8 came out with yet another update, I wondered. For me, however, the main thing was the privacy stuff. It came to a head one day when I downloaded an app from the app store and before I could download it, the phone demanded that I install my fingerprint ID stuff. I forget every facet of the disagreement between myself and the phone but I just put the phone on the table, sighed, and told my wife that I was taking my phone back to its mother. She said that she wanted to take hers back also. We did, and now both of us have the oldest, ugliest phones on Planet Earth. Mine is so small that it is hard to detect, even in my worn-out jeans. I can't even text with it, because it requires an interpreter for the key strokes and I don't speak Mandarin.
So, I am saving $70 or $80 or $90 a month on the phone. I never really kept up with that. Carley pays the bills while I devote my considerable energies into gaming and naps. I have steadfastly refused to mention this subject since I have come back to the blog. It is painful. Sometimes late at night, like tonight, here at 4A.M. I awake in the dark room. I see the memory of my lovely phone. I don't even have a picture of it to show you. Sniff. I see its golden tanned, lithe body. I see its white face, like bone China, unmarred even by a case because it was just so pretty. I feel its coolness on my hand and feel its awkward size in my pants pocket. Then I turn over and put my arm around Carley as she sleeps, here at the author's green retreat.
I'm CE Wills.
Carley was having
Carley wanted to try a Samsung so she got the latest, greatest version of that phone. I bought the I-Phone. It was a Yin/yang thing. I did not get the I-Phone 6 Plus. Heck, the I-Phone 6 was huge. It fit in my pocket but I was very aware of it being there and felt more comfortable laying it on the table when we sat down at O'Charley's a few minutes later. This trend continued over the next few days. You could clearly see the outline of it in my pants and it looked big. It is with difficulty that I resist all the puns about the similarities to guys who wear tight jeans to show their equipment.
For five days I did things with the phones. The Samsung had something like 4 pages of apps pre-installed. When she turned the phone on, they started downloading a ton of updates that amounted to several Gigs of data. Also, they wanted to report in to the owners so this was a battery drain. Some of them could not be deleted, which was thought-provoking, bad thoughts. Plus, Samsung was a different Eco-system from what I was used to. The display was fantastic, though. The pictures and video surpassed my phone, which made me jealous. Mature, right?
I had to go through the I-Phone too. Setting up the privacy stuff is a big deal to me. Many things that should have been automatically 'opted out' were 'opted in'. I won't go through them, lest you wind up being as paranoid as me. Sometimes I wonder if this has something to do with being an ardent gamer?
I was surprised that the I-Phone only showed one bar of signal strength here at my place in the valley. The Samsung didn't do much better. As you know, you have a week of grace to return a new phone to Verizon. I find this very decent of them and I appreciate it. As the deadline approached I was tempted to return the phone and my wife was having thoughts about her phone as well. The two-year commitment, the contract, was part of that thought process. When IOS 8 came out with yet another update, I wondered. For me, however, the main thing was the privacy stuff. It came to a head one day when I downloaded an app from the app store and before I could download it, the phone demanded that I install my fingerprint ID stuff. I forget every facet of the disagreement between myself and the phone but I just put the phone on the table, sighed, and told my wife that I was taking my phone back to its mother. She said that she wanted to take hers back also. We did, and now both of us have the oldest, ugliest phones on Planet Earth. Mine is so small that it is hard to detect, even in my worn-out jeans. I can't even text with it, because it requires an interpreter for the key strokes and I don't speak Mandarin.
So, I am saving $70 or $80 or $90 a month on the phone. I never really kept up with that. Carley pays the bills while I devote my considerable energies into gaming and naps. I have steadfastly refused to mention this subject since I have come back to the blog. It is painful. Sometimes late at night, like tonight, here at 4A.M. I awake in the dark room. I see the memory of my lovely phone. I don't even have a picture of it to show you. Sniff. I see its golden tanned, lithe body. I see its white face, like bone China, unmarred even by a case because it was just so pretty. I feel its coolness on my hand and feel its awkward size in my pants pocket. Then I turn over and put my arm around Carley as she sleeps, here at the author's green retreat.
I'm CE Wills.
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