I've Got Those Low-down Gamer Blues

    Hey, everyone. A funny thing happened to me. I was playing Max Payne Mobile on my I-pad and I was being meticulous about doing a manual save every few minutes, lest I have to go back very far. So I do a save and what happens? Oh yeah, I immediately get 'killed'. Then, when I 'tap to load last save' I immediately get shot again. I swear, it is like a groundhog day movie. What would Bill Murray do?
     So, I actually deleted the game, then went to the app store and re-downloaded it. So, I was able to start the game over at chapter 1. I got very frustrated with this as you can imagine and tapped chapter select for my latest game save. I thought that having re-downloaded it, it might have mercy on me and start me at the save point before the instant kill spot I was on. No, not so much. Now I am in a constant rehash of a bad moment. The bullet comes so fast I can't run. Sigh. I would download it again but my internet company is doing their Gig limit, which sucks.
     If I was in New Orleans, playing in a club, I'd play some of them old time, low down gamer blues. Then I could be like Neil Diamond says in Song Sung Blue and just sing the blues until I get happy.
    I've been playing a cool little game called Paper Monsters. It is a Mario type of game. The graphics are great and the gameplay is pretty darn good. I think it is made by the folks that made Razor Salvation. Your little square-headed person runs around collecting buttons and jumping on monsters' heads to squish them. You drop through pipes into the bowels of the earth, which is a little scary when you have been in some of the holes I've been in. There are platforms that travel on cables and they insist that you time your exit without getting killed by a monster. All in all, it is well worth the dollar I paid for it.
    I'm sure that you've heard by now. The Shadowgun folks are coming out with a cool, zombie-killing game around the end of June. Also, the rumors are getting very strong that the next update for IOS will enable Siri on our I-Pads. I hope that this is true because I get lonely sometimes. Ha, ha? I wonder if I can say, "Siri, see if that game is still on sale" ?
     You have doubtless heard that there will be a new Spiderman game on IOS this summer. This is to promote the new movie, of course. I started to buy the new Avengers game the other day, but it looks like an interactive comic book. For a mere 99 cents I should have tried it, but again, I am trying to slack off on Gig usage.
    Speaking of 99 cent games, I have been playing a lot of one called Zombie Air Sniper. I will do a full review on it before the weekend is over.
    I'm CE Wills, the underachiever meritorious of gaming.

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Shadowgun: Crushing The Driller On Level 4

Hey, everyone. Let's talk about the game called Shadowgun, the I-Pad game with which I have a love-hate relationship. Most of you who made it past the evil Cyber Lobster are doubtless locked in a death struggle with the Driller at the end of level 4. At this point you have been in the cave for a long time. The Driller breaks through the rock wall and chases you through the tunnel as you try to shoot out the green lights which slows the Driller down. If you are slick enough to shoot out all the lights and emerge from the cave, a rolling door crashes on the Driller and crushes his aggravating carcass. I have tried and failed to beat the Driller at least 250 times. I hate the Driller to the heights and depths my soul can reach. I hate it like a plague. I hate it with intensity of feeling. I hate it like a rich man hates taxes. Excuse me, I got carried away. We had a big dinner here at the green retreat and my friend Trevor was ...

You're Aiming the Missile Where?

Hey, everyone, out there in game-land. The number 1 game on the friendly neighborhood app store is Call of Duty: Strike Team . No wonder, because it is a terrific game. The farther I play, the cooler it gets. But before I get to that, what are all these numbers indicating on my gun? Has to be some sort of ammo indicator for the clips, I guess. either that or some of my compadres has trouble doing his math homework. Whatever. Hey. Check out the picture of me hitching a ride on an enemy truck so that my team can infiltrate a missile silo. Do you like the face mask? I bought it at a store called Fashions by Bane. Ha, ha. (Batman Reference) On this mission, my team was assisted by a Russian Spetsnaz squad. How's that for detente, comrade? These Spetsnaz guys make everything fun. What I mean is this. We shoot bunches of enemies and get into the bowels of the silo. We get to the gantry where the missile is (Pictured above) and we see that the rad...

Shadowgun: Killing The Windbreaker

Hey, everyone. I thought it might be a good time for a bit of an update on the riveting game called Shadowgun. Consider this your spoiler alert and tune out if you want to. Once you get past the dreaded Driller, things get better but you are certainly not out of the woods. You will want to make sure you keep a full clip in your gun as you stroll through the realm of the evil and crazy Dr. Simon. But hey, you're John Slade, the Shadowgun, and wherever you set your foot is the place to which your authority extends. I love the way that some of the barriers disintegrate under the impact of bullets. I didn't learn this at my mother's knee but I darn sure know it now. I have learned that there are certain places it is good to plan on using the rocket launcher. Keep your stock of those filled. There are these transporter guys who are aggressive punks. The only way they respect you is if you kill them, so that's the way I roll. As...

CE Wills

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