My Bear Has Maggots

    Hey, everyone. Do you remember my bear I told you about? The one that a guy carved out of a solid chunk of pine, using a chain saw? Well, I named him Smokie and I have grown rather attached to the little guy. He doesn't talk much, just sits by the fireplace and thinks his thoughts. Recently we put him out in the flower bed to watch over the bushes. Today I moved him, so that I could cut weeds and I discovered that he has maggots invading his...uhh, base. His stand. It is a real bummer, as we used to say, back in the sixties.
     I sprayed his bottom with insecticide and the maggots died, but I am still concerned. I mean, he's so unselfish and has given of his free time to watch over the bushes and scare the dog away that might want to crap on the hydrangeas.
    Is there a moral to this story? Well, gee..
1) No good deed goes unpunished.
2) Nice bears finish last.
3) When you start trying to do good deeds, you'd better watch your butt.
4) When carving a statue, use pressure treated wood.
By the way, did you notice that the bear has blue eyes? (marbles). The marbles used were those commonly referred to as 'cat's eye' marbles. One is turned sideways and the other is turned vertically. Funny.
    From the author's green retreat, I'm CE Wills.

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Shadowgun: Crushing The Driller On Level 4

Hey, everyone. Let's talk about the game called Shadowgun, the I-Pad game with which I have a love-hate relationship. Most of you who made it past the evil Cyber Lobster are doubtless locked in a death struggle with the Driller at the end of level 4. At this point you have been in the cave for a long time. The Driller breaks through the rock wall and chases you through the tunnel as you try to shoot out the green lights which slows the Driller down. If you are slick enough to shoot out all the lights and emerge from the cave, a rolling door crashes on the Driller and crushes his aggravating carcass. I have tried and failed to beat the Driller at least 250 times. I hate the Driller to the heights and depths my soul can reach. I hate it like a plague. I hate it with intensity of feeling. I hate it like a rich man hates taxes. Excuse me, I got carried away. We had a big dinner here at the green retreat and my friend Trevor was ...

You're Aiming the Missile Where?

Hey, everyone, out there in game-land. The number 1 game on the friendly neighborhood app store is Call of Duty: Strike Team . No wonder, because it is a terrific game. The farther I play, the cooler it gets. But before I get to that, what are all these numbers indicating on my gun? Has to be some sort of ammo indicator for the clips, I guess. either that or some of my compadres has trouble doing his math homework. Whatever. Hey. Check out the picture of me hitching a ride on an enemy truck so that my team can infiltrate a missile silo. Do you like the face mask? I bought it at a store called Fashions by Bane. Ha, ha. (Batman Reference) On this mission, my team was assisted by a Russian Spetsnaz squad. How's that for detente, comrade? These Spetsnaz guys make everything fun. What I mean is this. We shoot bunches of enemies and get into the bowels of the silo. We get to the gantry where the missile is (Pictured above) and we see that the rad...

Shadowgun: Killing The Windbreaker

Hey, everyone. I thought it might be a good time for a bit of an update on the riveting game called Shadowgun. Consider this your spoiler alert and tune out if you want to. Once you get past the dreaded Driller, things get better but you are certainly not out of the woods. You will want to make sure you keep a full clip in your gun as you stroll through the realm of the evil and crazy Dr. Simon. But hey, you're John Slade, the Shadowgun, and wherever you set your foot is the place to which your authority extends. I love the way that some of the barriers disintegrate under the impact of bullets. I didn't learn this at my mother's knee but I darn sure know it now. I have learned that there are certain places it is good to plan on using the rocket launcher. Keep your stock of those filled. There are these transporter guys who are aggressive punks. The only way they respect you is if you kill them, so that's the way I roll. As...

CE Wills

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