Razor:Salvation and Apollo Creed's Trainer

    Hey, everyone. I played a lot more of my new game called Razor Salvation and it is a lot of fun. Plus, I am getting really decent at this game. Tonight I broke into the top five in one category, world-wide. I was in the zone, blasting zombies and Grunts and snipers. I shot crates for extra cash and saved many civilians. I fantasized that the civilians purposely came to my side of the ship because they knew that I was there to hover over them like a big eagle, smiting down their enemies in the nick of time so that they could board my ship.
    In fact, I got so into it that I started thinking about the old Rocky movies. You remember when Apollo's trainer is rubbing his shoulders, getting him ready for the fight? I thought he was talking to me as I went out to slay the alien scum who were destroying my planet.
"You're the best," he said. "You're the best now and you're the best that's ever been. Women love you, little kids love you. Women want you and men want to be you. You're the champ. This is your time. This is your day."
     Then I awoke, with my I-Pad on my lap. My wife, not Apollo Creed's trainer, was shaking my shoulder. I must have been talking in my sleep because she smiled and said this:
"Come on to bed, champ. You can kill more aliens tomorrow."
     From the author's green retreat, I'm CE Wills.

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The White Chicken Mystery

The other night I happened to come home very late. It was the middle of the night and I was driving up a steep mountain road. Near the top I saw something white in my headlights. It was standing in the other lane, standing very still. It was a large white chicken. It was probably a rooster because I thought I could see his comb as I whizzed by at my customary pace. He never moved a muscle. This is weird, don't you think? After a couple of days to consider this phenomenon, I have come up with some plausible answers for his bizarre behavior. 1. He was conflicted whether or not he should cross the road. 2. He was feeling cocky and decided to play chicken with the traffic. 3.He was being hen-pecked at home and had decided to end it all. 4. Someone had egged him on to do it. 5. He had just watched the movie Fantastic Four and decided to try to stop a truck the way that Ben Grimm did on the bridge. 6. He had driven himself crazy wondering if ...

Cake Is Better Than Swords

Hey, everyone. On Thanksgiving, we had a get-together here at The Author's Green Retreat. One lady brought a cake which I wanted to show you. It had the look of a Roman Coliseum about it. Inside it was just as decadent...and fun, as ancient Rome. When I cut it open, homemade marshmallow cream began to ooze out in several spots, running over the chocolate cake and peanut butter icing. It is best served warm so the cream is fluid. Very tasty. The same lady, and her children, are people who have played a lot of Skyrim. They gave me some pointers on the game because I am having problems with it. They taught me how to fast travel, and a ton of other things, but the main thing was the armor and clothing problem. This is a little embarrassing, but let me explain. Okay. For several weeks when I played, I would enter towns and everyone I met would comment on my nakedness. I would select a tunic and shoes, whatever, go back around people and they would say something about it. I guess I w...

Batman Lives In Washington, DC

Hey, everyone. I just read an interesting article on Washington Post.Com by Mike Rosenwald. It was titled Who Is the Route 29 Batman? This is a true story about a guy that the cops pulled over. The guy was driving a black Lamborghini with Batman plates. There were yellow Batman symbols on the doors. They had a video from the police car that showed him being pulled over. He was wearing a Bat-suit which he said cost him $5000. His gig is that he visits sick children in area hospitals and hands out Bat-Toys and Bat-books to cheer the kids up. His name is Lenny B. Robinson and he says that the 'B' stands for Batman. He is perfectly sane and is just a good dude trying to make a difference. He is a self-made millionaire and is currently having a duplicate of the Batmobile custom-made at a cost of $250,000. It was a hoot, watching the cops having their pictures made with the Bat Guy. Someone asked him where Robin was and he said that the boy won...

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