The Odd Denizens of Oros

   

   Hey, everyone. I am still having major fun here in Far Cry Primal. I find the inhabitants fascinating for several reasons. They are never boring, certainly.
    For instance, the first human I associated with is a lady named Sandy, Sandar or something. She is pretty and fit. She has a big round spot on the front of her head that is not bald or shaved but appears like the hair has been ripped out. Other than that she is hot. She has a sweet smile but her eyes give the impression that all her ducks are not aligned. I built her a hut and she became the first resident of my village. Cool.
   Later, she offered to let me move in with her. However, the way she talked, the offer was contingent on me killing a bad man called Ul. She wants the dude's ear for a necklace. I give a hoot about her kinky jewelry but Ul is huge and bad to the bone. I gather that you can't beat him until the end of the game. So I sought other battles and found a-plenty. I figure that the girl's grudge against Ul may have something to do with her bald patch. Ul may have been a stylist.
     Perhaps the craziest guy in Oros is a man I found living in a cave. Now, living in a cave is quite common in Oros. These are cavemen and all that. But this guy caused me to fall through a trap, then stood over me and urinated down on me. (Not shown.) Trust me, few things are more demeaning. There are a thousand jokes I could visit here but I won't.
   Well, I defeated this crabby old man and took him back to my village and put him to work. He mostly sits in front of his hut and carves ugly replicas of small wooden dogs. He only has one hand and holds the darn dog between his knobby old knees. The worst is, the old goat never calls me Takkar, which is my Nom De Plume for this game. He calls me Piss Man. Yes, that's right. This alone tells me that he has no remorse for what he did to me. After I built him a hut, he still disrespects me.
    To tell you the truth, he reminds me of my father. Pop was old and cranky. He had an expression he used all the time. He'd say, "Piss on him!" or "Piss on that". It limited his social life, to be sure. This old man (in the game) has called me this derogatory term until my wife finds it hilarious. She has been carried away in the spirit of the thing until she calls me Piss Man and laughs uproariously. This is an unfortunate nick name for an elderly guy on prostate medication. "Sigh".
    Is this all the weirdos of Oros? Au contraire. There is the Izila tribe, who love the color blue and paint their upper bodies with it. They make the paint with long-stemmed blue flowers that they pile around their villages. Their spiritual leader is a hot lady named Batari.

    Batari is a fierce lady, as you can see. If I met her in a bar, I'd think twice about asking her out. With the knife and all. Anyway, she is wayyyy into the blue fetish. She has created the world's first tank top. It may just be paint but I like it. I think her weird religion has made her paranoid. She kept saying I was there to steal her Krati. I didn't know what a Krati was at that time. I suspected it was... Never mind. Well, come to find out, her Krati was just an ugly mask made out of crystal rocks.

    Sure, I stole the darn thing, later. But it was a hollow victory compared to what I had built it up to be. Then, when I took it back to my weirdo medicine man he... you guessed it, he peed on it and made me put it on! Yuck.
   I have come to the conclusion that the peoples of Oros were not dissimilar from the elderly people of our own time. In that they are morbidly preoccupied with bodily functions.
    By the way, that shaman guy held my hand over a fire to get me used to fighting the Izila tribe. They are way into that fire stuff. Also, I think this tribe may be forbears of a family that later formed a car company.
     Many times when I attack a village, there are these crazy people who run shrieking past me. They don't attack like the Udam or the Izila but are just crazy. I know that many primitive peoples, including my own Indian forebears consider it bad ju-ju to harm a mentally deficient person. At any rate, it is a moral decision you must make in Oros.
    I'm bummed out about something. I was in a far land and found a camp where two old boys were sleeping in broad daylight. I mean really sleeping. They snored while I strolled around their campfire. Not knowing if they were friend or foe, I lit my spear afire and poked one of them. I was shocked when he immediately burst into flames and jumped around like a nut, then died. Turns out he belonged to the Weija, who are my tribe. I was penalized for this affair and my own conscious condemned me. "Sigh". (I theorized that the Weija must rub animal fat on their bodies, hence their flammability.)
    Well, I have much more to talk about on Far Cry Primal but I will have to return to the subject later, at the author's green retreat. I'm CE Wills.