Turn Out The Lights

    For those of us who are a little older, we have lost another familiar friend. Don Meredith, former Dallas Cowboy and Monday Night Football commentator, has died. In a world where people in the public eye go to great lengths to construct a plastic persona, Dandy Don was fun, natural and very cool. He made Howard Cosell more fun and I really believe the two men were like the biblical verse, Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens the countenance of his friend. In a word, they were good for each other.
    Who else would have had the nerve to sing ' Turn out the lights, the party's over' on national TV when the game was decided every week? Only Don Meredith. Don was one of that rare breed who dared to be different. Even the media atmosphere could not roll him and stamp him and sale him on a plastic tray. I recall how Elvis was ridiculed for his clothes and hair in high school. Yes, he was ridiculed for his music for many years as well. Those who dare to be different can be counted on the fingers of one hand in any generation. Don Meredith was a fun guy, a good player and commentator. On a personal level, I liked him because he dared to be a Southerner and gloried in it, rather than be ashamed. Adios, Don Meredith.
   CE Wills

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The White Chicken Mystery

The other night I happened to come home very late. It was the middle of the night and I was driving up a steep mountain road. Near the top I saw something white in my headlights. It was standing in the other lane, standing very still. It was a large white chicken. It was probably a rooster because I thought I could see his comb as I whizzed by at my customary pace. He never moved a muscle. This is weird, don't you think? After a couple of days to consider this phenomenon, I have come up with some plausible answers for his bizarre behavior. 1. He was conflicted whether or not he should cross the road. 2. He was feeling cocky and decided to play chicken with the traffic. 3.He was being hen-pecked at home and had decided to end it all. 4. Someone had egged him on to do it. 5. He had just watched the movie Fantastic Four and decided to try to stop a truck the way that Ben Grimm did on the bridge. 6. He had driven himself crazy wondering if ...

Cake Is Better Than Swords

Hey, everyone. On Thanksgiving, we had a get-together here at The Author's Green Retreat. One lady brought a cake which I wanted to show you. It had the look of a Roman Coliseum about it. Inside it was just as decadent...and fun, as ancient Rome. When I cut it open, homemade marshmallow cream began to ooze out in several spots, running over the chocolate cake and peanut butter icing. It is best served warm so the cream is fluid. Very tasty. The same lady, and her children, are people who have played a lot of Skyrim. They gave me some pointers on the game because I am having problems with it. They taught me how to fast travel, and a ton of other things, but the main thing was the armor and clothing problem. This is a little embarrassing, but let me explain. Okay. For several weeks when I played, I would enter towns and everyone I met would comment on my nakedness. I would select a tunic and shoes, whatever, go back around people and they would say something about it. I guess I w...

Egg Art

Hey, everyone. One of the odd customs in America is the Easter Egg Hunt. Here at the Green Retreat, we do a hunt every Spring. I just ran across some of the pictures from this years hunt and it is obvious that an artist had sneaked into our midst. The orange egg is a rendering of one of the Angry Birds of gaming lore. If I were a bird and had to pass an egg that size, I would be angry too. Ha, ha. We typically will dye about 10 dozen eggs and people get quite creative with their quotes and colors, as you can see. Many of the eggs are a bit risque for these pages. After having a few laughs, we hide the eggs. All of them are never found, which is cool. It is amusing to see old men (me) and all ages of folks, walking around with a basket on their arm. Some of the hiding spots are dastardly. Like eggs hidden in the guttering downspouts and ten foot up a tree. The kids are perhaps the most devious at hiding the colorful orbs, goi...

CE Wills

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