Skip to main content

Red Sails at Dawn: Assassins Creed Pirates





      I was off the coast of Nassau on my lovely ship. It had just turned dawn and the fleet of fat merchant ships was in sight at last. The journey had been long and eventful. I had tired of being humbled by the men-o-war and had bought myself a vessel. A ship with red sails, as you can see. I thought that my prey would tremble in fear at the sight of the red sails, red being the color of blood and all. I had bought the ship and some trimmings for $7.99. The one-eyed geezer who sold it to me called it a starter pack, for some reason. He was narrow between the eyes,...uh, eye, and spoke out of the corner of his mouth, but we shook on the deal. It has been a good ship, aye, and I have trebled my booty. That's spoils, for you landlubbers.
        By my side on the deck is the fetching woman called Aaminah. I saved her off a slaver ship that I caught in open water. She is a trim vessel; the girl I mean, with a smile that will light up your heart. I like my women sassy, and she qualifies. Arghhhhh.
     The slave trade is an abomination to God. This era would likely have been around the time that John Newton was a slave ship Captain. He would later turn into a devout man and pen the words to the hymn, Amazing Grace. I wonder what Aaminah meant about the conscience...
     I was surprised by something when I encountered the slave ship. I shelled them until the ship was crippled. I couldn't sink it for fear the slaves would drown. They are normally chained below, as you know. Well, what surprised me was, as the ship limped away, I saw heads bobbing in her wake, the Captain judging rightly that we would stop and pick up these survivors. (See the above renderings.)
      Though it galled me to do it, I hunted and harpooned a whale.( Pictured above.) I was struck by the tragedy of it, but I couldn't allow my sailors to see me blubber over it. Ha, ha. I am also having some remorse over watching so many fine ships sink under the sea. I am responsible for 10,000,000 golden coins of shipping being lost here in the tropics. I am gaining a following also. There are twenty men of all races, creeds and nations serving on my ship. Oh, yes, and two women.
     I have been finding some treasure chests. They sit on a rocky outcropping, usually. When opened, they may indeed yield treasure, but as often as not, there is some child's bauble inside, or some heathen doo-dad. You have to put a half-dozen in a set to sell the darn things for a few thousand coins. I thought about placing my stinking socks in one of the chests, just for laughs. Arghhhhhhhh.
       I am a level 25 pirate now, though my journey is far from over. This game I play is long and deep. Aye, it be one of the ten best games I've ever spilled from the Apple barrel. Young Jim Hawkins would approve, I warrant.
      Stepping out of character for a moment, let me say that this adventure made me think of Game of Thrones just a bit. It dares to be a little different and include controversial subjects, like George R.R. Martin's series. When you do that, you can wind up a wealthy Captain or have people on your back like stink on a pirate's rear.
     From a spot just off the coast of Nassau, I'm CE Wills. (I actually have been to Nassau and fished there once.) By the way, 23,000 'in game' gold coins to travel from one area to another seems like a lot. But then, I paid $16 for two sandwiches, two large fries and two drinks, today. At McDonald's, for goodness sake. But, Aaminah had never tried a Big Mac.
P.S. No whales were harmed during the making of this blog.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The White Chicken Mystery

    The other night I happened to come home very late. It was the middle of the night and I was driving up a steep mountain road. Near the top I saw something white in my headlights. It was standing in the other lane, standing very still. It was a large white chicken. It was probably a rooster because I thought I could see his comb as I whizzed by at my customary pace. He never moved a muscle. This is weird, don't you think?      After a couple of days to consider this phenomenon, I have come up with some plausible answers for his bizarre behavior. 1. He was conflicted whether or not he should cross the road. 2. He was feeling cocky and decided to play chicken with the traffic. 3.He was being hen-pecked at home and had decided to end it all. 4. Someone had egged him on to do it. 5. He had just watched the movie Fantastic Four and decided to try to stop a truck the way that Ben Grimm did on the bridge. 6. He had driven himself crazy wondering if ...

Egg Art

     Hey, everyone. One of the odd customs in America is the Easter Egg Hunt. Here at the Green Retreat, we do a hunt every Spring. I just ran across some of the pictures from this years hunt and it is obvious that an artist had sneaked into our midst. The orange egg is a rendering of one of the Angry Birds of gaming lore. If I were a bird and had to pass an egg that size, I would be angry too. Ha, ha.      We typically will dye about 10 dozen eggs and people get quite creative with their quotes and colors, as you can see. Many of the eggs are a bit risque for these pages. After having a few laughs, we hide the eggs. All of them are never found, which is cool. It is amusing to see old men (me) and all ages of folks, walking around with a basket on their arm. Some of the hiding spots are dastardly. Like eggs hidden in the guttering downspouts and ten foot up a tree. The kids are perhaps the most devious at hiding the colorful orbs, goi...

The Biscuit

    Hey, everyone. What a relief that Christmas is over, huh? I don't think it was meant to be the way it is.     I started thinking about the so-called good 'ole days today. My wife says that at her house, they would take a left-over biscuit and shine their shoes before church. I one-upped her by saying, "Oh, yeah? I ate the biscuit when everyone got finished with it. And I was grateful for it." Truly, though, you can and people did, shine their shoes with a biscuit. Hey, they were greasy little buggers.     Speaking of greasy little buggers, I remember when everyone had wells and were very conservative about water, particularly those of us who had to crank a handle up and down to get a bucket of water. There was no daily bath. (No showers in those days, mate.) About twice a week we took a bath and here's the recipe: The oldest kid took a bath first, then the next oldest etc. You can see why younger siblings hated the older. Bathing in the...