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The Rarest of Beasts and Three Bullets

    Hey, everyone. Last night I watched a really good movie entitled Blood Simple. Despite the title, the plot was not simple. It was a plot which had you interested from the first moment. In fact, this movie is that rarest of beasts, a truly 5 star show.
     This film makes me think about raising teenagers, though there are no teens in the show. But, if you were wanting to warn young men about the hazards involved in life, you might just make them sit and watch this movie and say, "Don't ever be this stupid". The people in this tale are not very bright.
    Dan Hedaya stars as Julian Marty, a bar owner in Texas who has a wild wife. To be delicate about it, Abby ( Francis McDormand) likes men, a lot. One of her husband's employees is Ray. (Played by John Getz) Ray samples the forbidden cuisine of Abby and the watchful Julian finds out about it. In fact Julian has hired a private investigator. The weird PI (Played by Emmet Walsh) gleefully shows Julian some glossy 8 by 10's of the couple.
    Ray is dumb enough, after being called by Julian about the affair, to go to the bar and demand his past two weeks salary. Julian is less than receptive. So the slow, calm Ray goes home and realizes he has a new roomie in Abby and no job.Ray, perhaps the dumbest guy in any movie, ever, wakes up at his place the next morning to find that Julian has broken into his house and drug Abby outside for some purpose, best left unresolved. Ray doesn't have to intervene because Abby whips her husband's butt in the front yard. Julian leaves in disgrace, holding his fragile body parts in pain.
      At this point I must tell you about the gun that Abby has. It is a pearl-handled revolver for which she could only find three shells. Remember that. Three shells. She put it in her purse when she left home.
     Well, as Julian returns to his bar with his self respect and his crotch damaged, perhaps irrevocably, he decides to have Abby and Ray killed. I suppose that after his wife punished him he didn't feel up to the task and he calls the goofy private eye. He offers the dude $10,000 to kill the lovers. In my opinion, anyone as stupid as Ray would probably be dead on his own in a short time anyway. Julian could have saved the money. Ha, ha.
     The detective happily accepts the job and tells Julian to go to the beach for a few days. At this point I truly was unaware of how devious the detective was. He goes to Ray's that night and peeps through the window for a while. Then he sneaks in the house and steals the aforementioned pistol from Abby's purse. Then he goes to the outside of the house and points the gun at the lovers as they sleep. He is outside the bedroom window. Dumb Ray does not own a pair of curtains. After all, he has spent a lifetime honing his stupidity, why should he hide it from the world?
      We next see the detective throwing some glossy 8 by 10's on Julian's desk. They show the bloody bodies of Abby and Ray on the white sheets at Ray's home. Julian, ever the rock of manliness, throws up, then pays the detective $10,000 as promised.
     It is at this point that the movie really starts to get weird, with each new revelation dropping your mouth open in surprise. How many times did I say "Dumb" ? A lot. Has no one ever watched CSI in their community? Ha, ha. It is with difficulty that I refrain from telling you the rest of the story. Suffice it to say that I have not scratched the surface of the tale. Do yourself a favor and check this one out. It is superbly acted, written and directed. It seems like it could be true, because really, we as humans are not too bright. Movies always show brilliant plots and stratagems. In reality, most of us are closer to the Ray, Abby and Julian syndrome than we would care to admit.
     I'm CE Wills.
P.S. Remember, three bullets.

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