Skip to main content

The Rarest of Beasts and Three Bullets

    Hey, everyone. Last night I watched a really good movie entitled Blood Simple. Despite the title, the plot was not simple. It was a plot which had you interested from the first moment. In fact, this movie is that rarest of beasts, a truly 5 star show.
     This film makes me think about raising teenagers, though there are no teens in the show. But, if you were wanting to warn young men about the hazards involved in life, you might just make them sit and watch this movie and say, "Don't ever be this stupid". The people in this tale are not very bright.
    Dan Hedaya stars as Julian Marty, a bar owner in Texas who has a wild wife. To be delicate about it, Abby ( Francis McDormand) likes men, a lot. One of her husband's employees is Ray. (Played by John Getz) Ray samples the forbidden cuisine of Abby and the watchful Julian finds out about it. In fact Julian has hired a private investigator. The weird PI (Played by Emmet Walsh) gleefully shows Julian some glossy 8 by 10's of the couple.
    Ray is dumb enough, after being called by Julian about the affair, to go to the bar and demand his past two weeks salary. Julian is less than receptive. So the slow, calm Ray goes home and realizes he has a new roomie in Abby and no job.Ray, perhaps the dumbest guy in any movie, ever, wakes up at his place the next morning to find that Julian has broken into his house and drug Abby outside for some purpose, best left unresolved. Ray doesn't have to intervene because Abby whips her husband's butt in the front yard. Julian leaves in disgrace, holding his fragile body parts in pain.
      At this point I must tell you about the gun that Abby has. It is a pearl-handled revolver for which she could only find three shells. Remember that. Three shells. She put it in her purse when she left home.
     Well, as Julian returns to his bar with his self respect and his crotch damaged, perhaps irrevocably, he decides to have Abby and Ray killed. I suppose that after his wife punished him he didn't feel up to the task and he calls the goofy private eye. He offers the dude $10,000 to kill the lovers. In my opinion, anyone as stupid as Ray would probably be dead on his own in a short time anyway. Julian could have saved the money. Ha, ha.
     The detective happily accepts the job and tells Julian to go to the beach for a few days. At this point I truly was unaware of how devious the detective was. He goes to Ray's that night and peeps through the window for a while. Then he sneaks in the house and steals the aforementioned pistol from Abby's purse. Then he goes to the outside of the house and points the gun at the lovers as they sleep. He is outside the bedroom window. Dumb Ray does not own a pair of curtains. After all, he has spent a lifetime honing his stupidity, why should he hide it from the world?
      We next see the detective throwing some glossy 8 by 10's on Julian's desk. They show the bloody bodies of Abby and Ray on the white sheets at Ray's home. Julian, ever the rock of manliness, throws up, then pays the detective $10,000 as promised.
     It is at this point that the movie really starts to get weird, with each new revelation dropping your mouth open in surprise. How many times did I say "Dumb" ? A lot. Has no one ever watched CSI in their community? Ha, ha. It is with difficulty that I refrain from telling you the rest of the story. Suffice it to say that I have not scratched the surface of the tale. Do yourself a favor and check this one out. It is superbly acted, written and directed. It seems like it could be true, because really, we as humans are not too bright. Movies always show brilliant plots and stratagems. In reality, most of us are closer to the Ray, Abby and Julian syndrome than we would care to admit.
     I'm CE Wills.
P.S. Remember, three bullets.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Shadowgun: Crushing The Driller On Level 4

      Hey, everyone. Let's talk about the game called Shadowgun, the I-Pad game with which I have a love-hate relationship. Most of you who made it past the evil Cyber Lobster are doubtless locked in a death struggle with the Driller at the end of level 4. At this point you have been in the cave for a long time. The Driller breaks through the rock wall and chases you through the tunnel as you try to shoot out the green lights which slows the Driller down. If you are slick enough to shoot out all the lights and emerge from the cave, a rolling door crashes on the Driller and crushes his aggravating carcass. I have tried and failed to beat the Driller at least 250 times. I hate the Driller to the heights and depths my soul can reach. I hate it like a plague. I hate it with intensity of feeling. I hate it like a rich man hates taxes. Excuse me, I got carried away.       We had a big dinner here at the green retreat and my friend Trevor was ...

Cake Is Better Than Swords

Hey, everyone. On Thanksgiving, we had a get-together here at The Author's Green Retreat. One lady brought a cake which I wanted to show you. It had the look of a Roman Coliseum about it. Inside it was just as decadent...and fun, as ancient Rome. When I cut it open, homemade marshmallow cream began to ooze out in several spots, running over the chocolate cake and peanut butter icing. It is best served warm so the cream is fluid. Very tasty. The same lady, and her children, are people who have played a lot of Skyrim. They gave me some pointers on the game because I am having problems with it. They taught me how to fast travel, and a ton of other things, but the main thing was the armor and clothing problem. This is a little embarrassing, but let me explain. Okay. For several weeks when I played, I would enter towns and everyone I met would comment on my nakedness. I would select a tunic and shoes, whatever, go back around people and they would say something about it. I guess I w...

Hard Reset

    Hey, everyone. Yesterday I had an odd day. I had I-Pad trouble with my I-Pad Air. Let me tell you about it. I'll have to give you the "Reader's Digest Version". Ha, ha. This is an old saying, common during the dark ages. At that time Reader's Digest put abbreviated novels out for consumption by those who didn't really have a lot of time. They were quite good, usually.      So, a weird thing was going on with my Padster. To wit, I would buy a game and it would not appear on my I-Pad. The store would indicate that the game had downloaded but alas, there was no icon. Distressing. How could I possibly save Duke Nukem in The Manhattan Project ?      I bought other games, like Alpha 9, and they didn't appear either. I just chilled out for a while and meditated on the problem, hoping it would go away or a flash of genius might overtake me. I plugged the Padster into my PC and added some of my old games. They didn't appear either...