Skip to main content

No Chicks At This Tastee-Freeze

    Hey, everyone. I was surfing the web today and came across one of those 'truth is stranger than fiction' stories. I saw it on the Pulse app for I-Pad. Here's the recipe.
    The story was told on a site called The Dinner Party Download. It seems that there is a whale with a problem that is heartrending. This whale has a song with a higher pitched sound than any other whale. It also is not of any known species and is probably a mixed breed. Since 1992 the US Navy has tracked him with their SOSUS buoys which are sprinkled about the ocean and used to listen for enemy subs. Since he has such a unique voice he has become an object of curiosity which is easily differentiated from others.
     This whale sings at 52 hertz, near the lowest note on a tuba. He has a really high voice for a whale. When he calls for a mate, companionship, conversation, no other whale can hear him. No one ever answers.
    To make matters worse, there is an issue with his migratory patterns. In brief, his path does not coincide with normal whale patterns, so he can not hope to 'bump into' a new friend.
     This is one of the most thought-provoking stories I've ever seen. The pathos of this whale cruising the vastness of the world's oceans, incommunicado, like a teen around an empty Tastee-Freeze tears my heart out. He may think there is no other whale on the planet!
    I feel compelled to put on paper a few thoughts and possibilities.
1. This is an alien whale from a galaxy far, far away. His team failed to do sufficient research and he can not communicate with members of his species on the new world.
2. This cries out to be a Disney movie. Elton John and Bernie Taupin should write the music.
3.   (52)(the whale's nickname) has a personality like James Dean. He is a rebel, a loner, and likes his collar turned up. He feels women are nothing but trouble and chooses to sing high and travel alone.
4. Since 1992, this whale has learned to disguise his voice, just to mess with the Navy. He hangs at the whale bar until he gets plastered. Then he says, "Hey everybody, I'm gonna cruise and sing and mess with those Navy geeks."
5.He's just a normal whale but he has this one pair of jeans...
6.This is a radical new design of Russian sub. It can approach our coast unseen. The Captain in the upcoming movie will be played by Sean Connery. The title of the movie will be The Hunt For 52.
7.At this moment, the poor whale is contemplating suicide, doubting his sanity, or searching for a mirror to see what he looks like. The polar ice cap, or what's left of it, may be reflective enough so he can see that he is truly not a dolphin.
8.(52) is a whale that was released from captivity by humans and, as such, he doesn't speak whale and doesn't have a clue which area to cruise to pick up chicks.
9. He is an aspiring actor and has devised this absurd story in hopes of a Moby Dick sequel. He hopes that some movie mogul will send out some underling to sign him to a really big contract.
10.A cross between two species of whales, he is an outcast. He roams the wastelands, friendless. He will doubtless become a writer.
11. I see this guy as the Aaron Neville of whales. I love the way Aaron sings, by the way, so please don't get mad. When 52 finds a Linda Ronstadt whale they will sing a great duet.
    From the author's green retreat, I'm CE Wills.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Four Free Games

     Hey, everyone. If free games makes the start of a new week a little better, we're in luck. Check these out on your friendly, neighborhood app store. 1) Cowboys vs. Aliens vs. Ninjas- This is a dual stick shooter, much like Mini-Gore . You are an old-west cowboy with a vast array of weapons (earned gradually). You have to move and shoot, avoiding death, as you battle Ninjas and aliens. Some aliens are quite large. Some enemies are big Sumo Wrestlers. There are sword-wielding ninjas and these aliens that yield a mini-nuclear explosion when killed. When your enemies die they leave behind little stacks of money, or skulls. You collect these items because of a strange hobby of trophy grabbing for your macabre collection. Just kidding, the items can be spent or used as the game progresses. This is a good game and I played it for a while last night. 2) The Heist - A puzzle game with a twist. As you try to open a bank vault, you must face a series of different puz...

Game Review: NFS, Hot Pursuit

    This game was one which I refused to download for a while, even though it was on sale for 99 cents. I thought that it looked boring and narrow. Boy, was I wrong! This game totally kicks butt. It is one of those rare games that will actually give you an adrenaline rush. It is that intense. The developers, EA Games, have recently updated the app to include two main avenues of play. You can either be the cops or the racers who are trying to evade the cops. As a racer you have to deal with cops trying to hit you and make you crash, cops buzzing you with helicopters, oncoming traffic, tack strips spread across the road and roadblocks. In the cop mode you are a cop and you are trying to stop a reckless racer by any means, fair or foul. As a racer you can use nitrous oxide for increased speed, overdrive capability and oil slicks. You also can jam the cops communication with a jamming unit. Like almost all games these days, it gets harder as you go along. I prefer my games to...

Shadowgun: Killing The Windbreaker

    Hey, everyone. I thought it might be a good time for a bit of an update on the riveting game called Shadowgun. Consider this your spoiler alert and tune out if you want to.     Once you get past the dreaded Driller, things get better but you are certainly not out of the woods. You will want to make sure you keep a full clip in your gun as you stroll through the realm of the evil and crazy Dr. Simon. But hey, you're John Slade, the Shadowgun, and wherever you set your foot is the place to which your authority extends.      I love the way that some of the barriers disintegrate under the impact of bullets. I didn't learn this at my mother's knee but I darn sure know it now. I have learned that there are certain places it is good to plan on using the rocket launcher. Keep your stock of those filled. There are these transporter guys who are aggressive punks. The only way they respect you is if you kill them, so that's the way I roll. As...