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Half As Good As You

    Hey, everyone. It has been my great pleasure tonight to watch a documentary on T.V. The title of the show was The Untold Story of 007. It was shown on a satellite movie channel called EPIX 1, which is available on Dish Network.
    It is the story about the movie-making side of the James Bond series and it was outstanding. I have been a Bond devotee since I was 12 years old and I learned a lot of new things tonight. The film had commentary from several of the Bond actors and several U.S. Presidents, among others. I'll try to share a bit about the film with you.
     Ian Fleming was actually in the espionage game during WW 2. He dreamed of buying a beach cottage in Jamaica after retiring and that's what he did. The last time I checked, you could still rent that house for a vacation, something I'd love to do. Fleming started writing the Bond series in that home. He was a bit of a recluse, loved the booze and loved the ladies. When the books were a hit, they garnished the harshest criticism from the newspapers and magazines. They considered the books trashy and low-class. The film big-wigs wanted to make Bond into a television series. They showed a few cuts from that series, with James Bond as an American, and it wasn't great. Ah, heck, it was bad.
     Harry Saltzman managed to buy the movie rights to the Bond books but didn't have the money to make the films so he formed a company with Cubby Broccoli and started making movies. Ian Fleming didn't like Sean Connery for the lead role, at least at first, but he was wrong. Sean was and is the best Bond ever. After a few films Sean was such a superstar that the fame gave him problems. When filming in Japan, Sean was on the toilet and a guy climbed to a position above him and was taking pictures. Sean was furious, understandably.
    Saltzman and Broccoli renegotiated their money several times with United Artists for the films but resented it when Sean wanted more money. (By the way, Columbia turned down the offer to finance those films. Bet they hate that now.) So, there was friction between Connery and his producers.
    When Sean quit the role, George Lazenby sneaked his way into Saltzman's office and asked for the role. In the interview, he told the producer that he had acted in all these countries, anyplace that he thought couldn't be checked out. Because, you see, he had never acted at all. He was just an Aussie bloke who loved Bond and wanted to be Bond. When he finally admitted that he had never acted, the producers felt that he had acted well enough to con them, so he must be good. I loved George's interview in the documentary. He was funny and straightforward. They were worried about him being able to fight, he said, laughing. The truth was that he often got in fights just for fun, back home in the Australian outback. They were worried that he was gay and sent a woman up to his hotel one night. Can you believe it? Shooting a gun? He could do that too.
     On a personal note, I really liked Lazenby in the role. He only did one film but it had a very good plot with a true romance in it. On Her Majesty's Secret Service was the film in which Bond got married to the suicidal girl and basically saved her from herself.
    Lazenby noted that he had only done the one film and explained why. He said being Bond was great... and bad for him. He loved women and found them readily available because of Bond's persona. He overindulged in many things. He fell in with the peace movement and became convinced that he should leave the violent role. He was cut before he could quit, however, when he showed up at the premier  with the appearance of a hippie, which craze was common to the times. What must he think about every day when he rolls out of bed? "I blew the chance to be Bond all those years." Like I said on these pages once before, when things are going really great, that is when we are most likely to really mess up.
    In the literary world, it is often said, "Where there is a hit, there's a writ." This was true of Bond and Fleming.  Once upon a time, Ian Fleming was drinking the night away with a couple of guys. The impression I get from the documentary was that they sat around and chatted about a plot for an underwater adventure in the Bahamas. Just guy talk. Well, when Fleming published Thunderball, one of the guys sued him for the rights and won. All the stress with this one guy, and his lawsuits, led to Flemings's early demise. It is probable that an ocean of whiskey and 70 cigarettes a day did not help.
     I wanted to say a bit more about Sean Connery. When he auditioned for the part, one of the producers asked his wife to look at the screen test and tell him if she found the unknown actor sexy. Her answer was an enthusiastic 'Yes'. Also, the acrimonious split between Connery and his producers (Saltzman and Broccoli) was well documented. When Cubby Broccoli was very ill, his daughter ran into Sean in a restaurant and asked him to speak with her dad. She called Cubby at home and he and Sean chatted. Cubby told Sean that they had made something great and lasting with the films. He told Connery that he loved him and Sean replied that he loved Mr. Broccoli. I like it when folks make peace.
    The two producers, Saltzman and Broccoli, had split as well, and Saltzman had sold his rights because of money trouble. Years later, Broccoli called Saltzman and invited him to a Bond premier which healed their breach. Again, forgiveness lifts a dreadful burden from our souls.
     As a writer and a lifelong Bond fan, I was entranced by this film. It will be shown again on EPIX 1 on Sunday afternoon at noon, eastern time. Also, I watched a special about Bond that was on 60 Minutes last Sunday. It was good, also and I think you can see parts of it on line at 60 Minutes.com. Obviously, the Bond flick called Skyfall opens in early November and all this is designed to enhance attendance for that show.
     I have read all of Fleming's Bond books. They are terrific and as far as Spy novels go, 'nobody does it better'.
     Recently, I went back and read one of my own novels called Spam and Rice. I think I wrote it in 2007. I was pleasantly surprised when I very much enjoyed it. I found it to be quite good and felt extremely proud of it. It struck me, the night I finished it, that it was a thing that would endure for many years. It is very possible that some 12 year old kid will slip under the drive-in movie's fence to watch a movie version of it, like I did when I saw Goldfinger. Whether I am ever a big success as an author is really immaterial for the simple reason that I always wanted to write a book. I have written a book and I feel an immense satisfaction when I think about it. No one can take that away from me.
    From the author's green retreat, I'm CE Wills.


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