Skip to main content

The Force Is Strong In These Piggies


     Hey, everyone. Yesterday I bought a good game about those angry avians. The title is Angry Birds: Star Wars and it is easily the best Angry Birds yet. I estimate that it is a 4.5 stars out of 5. I bought the cheaper version for I-Phone but it plays just fine on my I-Pad 3. Moreover, the I-Phone version is a sweet 99 cents. There are 120 levels of pig-bashing fun on Tatooine. After that you can play the Death Star grouping, which is locked pending your 'making bacon' on the first world. The ice planet, Hoth, is a free update, coming soon. Path of the Jedi (Luke Bird's Jedi Training) allows you to play one level, then sends you to the old app store to "forge your light saber". What that entails is paying $1.99 for 40 levels on Dagobah, which I totally did, because I like nothing better than carving piggies with my @#!*** light-saber, okay?
     Also, bonus levels are awarded in an as-yet undiscovered process. This game is cheap, fun and available. That is three basic things about many of life's endeavors.
      Your birds are a colorful lot. There is the Han Solo bird. He has brown hair and shoots a laser rifle at the pigsters. He is the best guy to have around in a fight, just like the movies. The Luke bird has a wealth of golden hair and if you tap him at the right time, he swings a light saber and carves through walls, or pigs, for that matter. The Obi-Wan bird has a monastic brown robe and if you tap the screen he will exert the force on pigs or walls. I find him to be more of a spiritual bird, like the Zen prophet with feathers.
      C-3PO is funny because if you tap on him after he is flung toward the pigs, he goes to pieces and the pieces inflict a little damage on the curly-tailed foemen. His sidekick, R2D2, shoots electricity at the enemy.
    Before I forget, if the pigs are firing laser cannon from their fortifications and they strike your warriors, they will totally negate their attack. Don't say I didn't warn you. Also, I saw a golden egg, hidden beneath a cliff wall on Tatooine, but I forgot which level.
     I like the music, I like the sound effects. I like the light saber because, hey, I always wanted one. If they ever produce one that actually works I will be standing in that line. If you hated all the other Birds games, buy this one.
     I'm CE Wills, pig killer extraordinaire, and may the force be with y'all.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The White Chicken Mystery

    The other night I happened to come home very late. It was the middle of the night and I was driving up a steep mountain road. Near the top I saw something white in my headlights. It was standing in the other lane, standing very still. It was a large white chicken. It was probably a rooster because I thought I could see his comb as I whizzed by at my customary pace. He never moved a muscle. This is weird, don't you think?      After a couple of days to consider this phenomenon, I have come up with some plausible answers for his bizarre behavior. 1. He was conflicted whether or not he should cross the road. 2. He was feeling cocky and decided to play chicken with the traffic. 3.He was being hen-pecked at home and had decided to end it all. 4. Someone had egged him on to do it. 5. He had just watched the movie Fantastic Four and decided to try to stop a truck the way that Ben Grimm did on the bridge. 6. He had driven himself crazy wondering if ...

Cake Is Better Than Swords

Hey, everyone. On Thanksgiving, we had a get-together here at The Author's Green Retreat. One lady brought a cake which I wanted to show you. It had the look of a Roman Coliseum about it. Inside it was just as decadent...and fun, as ancient Rome. When I cut it open, homemade marshmallow cream began to ooze out in several spots, running over the chocolate cake and peanut butter icing. It is best served warm so the cream is fluid. Very tasty. The same lady, and her children, are people who have played a lot of Skyrim. They gave me some pointers on the game because I am having problems with it. They taught me how to fast travel, and a ton of other things, but the main thing was the armor and clothing problem. This is a little embarrassing, but let me explain. Okay. For several weeks when I played, I would enter towns and everyone I met would comment on my nakedness. I would select a tunic and shoes, whatever, go back around people and they would say something about it. I guess I w...

Egg Art

     Hey, everyone. One of the odd customs in America is the Easter Egg Hunt. Here at the Green Retreat, we do a hunt every Spring. I just ran across some of the pictures from this years hunt and it is obvious that an artist had sneaked into our midst. The orange egg is a rendering of one of the Angry Birds of gaming lore. If I were a bird and had to pass an egg that size, I would be angry too. Ha, ha.      We typically will dye about 10 dozen eggs and people get quite creative with their quotes and colors, as you can see. Many of the eggs are a bit risque for these pages. After having a few laughs, we hide the eggs. All of them are never found, which is cool. It is amusing to see old men (me) and all ages of folks, walking around with a basket on their arm. Some of the hiding spots are dastardly. Like eggs hidden in the guttering downspouts and ten foot up a tree. The kids are perhaps the most devious at hiding the colorful orbs, goi...