Skip to main content

Bradless

   Hey, everyone. I usually procrastinate about buying Carley's Christmas stuff. On such occasions I go to the mall and find that everything is picked over and depleted or out of stock. Today I did better and was out on the front lines. I love seeing all the women who watch guys shop for their wives. They consider us clueless and clumsy about women's stuff. I walked past a check out stand and a bunch of ladies were laughing about a clerk's story of an incident. One of the women said, "That had to be a man, right?" All these ladies were laughing their butts off. Always good to bring joy to women in whatever capacity possible. Ha, ha.
      Moving on, I selected a tasteful bunch of stuff for Carley and went to check out. The clerk said that the computer wouldn't accept my card as a 'credit', so I should type in my pin number. Now, I am one of those guys who does not know his pin number. If I stored useless information of this sort, I would have no room in my mind for the Falcons' record and stats, mental pictures of Angelina Jolie in black lingerie and a myriad of other vital things. So, I had to dig in my wallet and get my cash out. I have always carried a lot of cash because I don't feel confident in cards. Having grown up dirt poor, I am embarrassed easily by little things like having my card rejected.
      Mission accomplished, I leave the store and know that my Christmas shopping is done. Now, however, the scenario is changed. Here I was, all dressed up and no where to go. My plan had been to go to Logan's Roadhouse and eat massive quantities of steak, ribs, Parmesan wings, baked potato (loaded) and a huge salad. Oops, I forgot the fresh rolls. But now, I don't trust my card and I only have enough cash left for a value meal at McDonald's. Worse than that, I can't go to the movies. I had planned on seeing Brad Pitt's new flick, in which he plays a hit man for the mob. Did I get to go see it? Noooooooooo.
     As I was driving home, my wife called me from work. I told her about this burden, which I was managing to bear up under, and she laughed at me.
"You're so silly, baby. That stuff happens all the time. Your card would have worked at the restaurant, or the theater. Besides you could have gone to a bank, an ATM or done a number of other things, like cash a check, for instance."
 "Yes, I know," I said evenly. "But I am a writer and we live in a fantasy world. We try to limit our interaction with reality, lest it hinder our craft."
    She laughed and hung up on me. I have now returned home, Bradless, broke, (cash-wise) and hungry. I think I will buy a bunch of songs on I-Tunes, drink some beer and then play sad country songs on my keyboard until she gets home. Maybe she will bring me some food?
     From the author's green retreat, I'm CE Wills.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Shadowgun: Crushing The Driller On Level 4

      Hey, everyone. Let's talk about the game called Shadowgun, the I-Pad game with which I have a love-hate relationship. Most of you who made it past the evil Cyber Lobster are doubtless locked in a death struggle with the Driller at the end of level 4. At this point you have been in the cave for a long time. The Driller breaks through the rock wall and chases you through the tunnel as you try to shoot out the green lights which slows the Driller down. If you are slick enough to shoot out all the lights and emerge from the cave, a rolling door crashes on the Driller and crushes his aggravating carcass. I have tried and failed to beat the Driller at least 250 times. I hate the Driller to the heights and depths my soul can reach. I hate it like a plague. I hate it with intensity of feeling. I hate it like a rich man hates taxes. Excuse me, I got carried away.       We had a big dinner here at the green retreat and my friend Trevor was ...

Faerie In a Glass Jar

    Hey, everyone. Sometimes gaming can be high-pressure. Take tonight, for instance. I was playing the excellent puzzle game titled 4 Elements #2. I have already done a review of it so I won't attempt to do so again. You have to match symbols and use 'power-ups' to get molten lava to flow around a board and bring life back to a faerie world. Cool. That's what I do. I'm into it. There are also a variety of mini-puzzles such as hidden objects and even putting together a jigsaw puzzle. Hey, when I get in trouble I call Carley.     Anyway, tonight, Carley wasn't around when a crisis struck. I was confronted with a faerie in a glass jar. She was crying for help. She said that she was running out of air. Every minute or two she would rattle the jar. In order to free her, I had to find all these objects and use them. Like there were some missing books. Then there was the pieces of a torch. When I found them I could light all the candles. I found the pieces of ...

Book Review: Box

     Hey, everyone. I just finished the latest novel by John Locke. It is titled Box . It is the story of a world renowned surgeon named, coincidentally, Gideon Box. Dr. Box is brilliant in his chosen field of endeavor but less skilled in anything that involves social interaction. He can't get along with people and is so bad at relationships that his flings at 'romance' normally involve strippers, lap dances and on-line dating services.      After a grueling operation, Box goes on a bender that involves going to visit three women in rural Kentucky that he 'met' on line. I would like to say that these women run the gamut between harmless and dangerous but that would be a misrepresentation. They are all dangerous. One of them has lied about all her particulars. Worse than that, she has pet seahorses and makes a particular powder that can be used as a weapon. The powder contains ground glass, among other things.      Without giving ...