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10 Things Batman Hates About Superman

1) Superman gets a lot more chicks. They love it when he takes them flying; more exciting than a Corvette, I suppose.
2) Superman has superpowers, Batman has none.
3) Superman has x-ray vision. This alone is the voyeur's delight. With Wonder Woman you don't need much imagination, though.
4) Superman can fly but the Batmobile has to be worked on. Tires, gas, etc. He can't even take it to a shop. You come home from a battle with The Joker and have to change your ****** oil.
5) Superman has a nice, well-lit Fortress of Solitude. Batman has a ****** cave.
6) Superman is called 'The Man Of Steel'. Batman is called the Dark Knight. If you were a chick, which one would you go out with? Ladies really don't dig rodents, darkness or caves. And really, a nice 55 Chevy would look better than a Batmobile.
7) Superman can just walk in and address the UN council. (Superman 4) He has that kind of stroke, prestige. Batman is a loner. Even the police commissioner has to flash a stupid light on the clouds to get to see him.
8) Superman just wears some fake glasses for a disguise. Batman has to wear the whole enchilada, mask and all.
9) Superman has Kryptonite for a weakness. It is relatively rare, since it comes from another planet. With Batman, almost everything could be his Kryptonite. Guns, knives, a spatula in the hands of a 70 year old grandmother, could potentially kill him.
10) Superman has his own 'curse' that seems to strike those who affiliate themselves with the TV and film stories. This urban legend just makes Batman feel left out, insignificant, because he doesn't have one.
11) During the TV series of Batman, starring Adam West, Batman had 'man-boobs'. Superman still teases Batman about this at Justice League meetings. The Super dude has been known to say things like " Holy mammaries, Batman!"
      Sorry about the largely immature post. I should never drink and blog.
    From the Bat-Cave, this is your friend CE Wills.
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