Skip to main content

10 Things Batman Hates About Superman

1) Superman gets a lot more chicks. They love it when he takes them flying; more exciting than a Corvette, I suppose.
2) Superman has superpowers, Batman has none.
3) Superman has x-ray vision. This alone is the voyeur's delight. With Wonder Woman you don't need much imagination, though.
4) Superman can fly but the Batmobile has to be worked on. Tires, gas, etc. He can't even take it to a shop. You come home from a battle with The Joker and have to change your ****** oil.
5) Superman has a nice, well-lit Fortress of Solitude. Batman has a ****** cave.
6) Superman is called 'The Man Of Steel'. Batman is called the Dark Knight. If you were a chick, which one would you go out with? Ladies really don't dig rodents, darkness or caves. And really, a nice 55 Chevy would look better than a Batmobile.
7) Superman can just walk in and address the UN council. (Superman 4) He has that kind of stroke, prestige. Batman is a loner. Even the police commissioner has to flash a stupid light on the clouds to get to see him.
8) Superman just wears some fake glasses for a disguise. Batman has to wear the whole enchilada, mask and all.
9) Superman has Kryptonite for a weakness. It is relatively rare, since it comes from another planet. With Batman, almost everything could be his Kryptonite. Guns, knives, a spatula in the hands of a 70 year old grandmother, could potentially kill him.
10) Superman has his own 'curse' that seems to strike those who affiliate themselves with the TV and film stories. This urban legend just makes Batman feel left out, insignificant, because he doesn't have one.
11) During the TV series of Batman, starring Adam West, Batman had 'man-boobs'. Superman still teases Batman about this at Justice League meetings. The Super dude has been known to say things like " Holy mammaries, Batman!"
      Sorry about the largely immature post. I should never drink and blog.
    From the Bat-Cave, this is your friend CE Wills.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The White Chicken Mystery

    The other night I happened to come home very late. It was the middle of the night and I was driving up a steep mountain road. Near the top I saw something white in my headlights. It was standing in the other lane, standing very still. It was a large white chicken. It was probably a rooster because I thought I could see his comb as I whizzed by at my customary pace. He never moved a muscle. This is weird, don't you think?      After a couple of days to consider this phenomenon, I have come up with some plausible answers for his bizarre behavior. 1. He was conflicted whether or not he should cross the road. 2. He was feeling cocky and decided to play chicken with the traffic. 3.He was being hen-pecked at home and had decided to end it all. 4. Someone had egged him on to do it. 5. He had just watched the movie Fantastic Four and decided to try to stop a truck the way that Ben Grimm did on the bridge. 6. He had driven himself crazy wondering if ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Egg Art

     Hey, everyone. One of the odd customs in America is the Easter Egg Hunt. Here at the Green Retreat, we do a hunt every Spring. I just ran across some of the pictures from this years hunt and it is obvious that an artist had sneaked into our midst. The orange egg is a rendering of one of the Angry Birds of gaming lore. If I were a bird and had to pass an egg that size, I would be angry too. Ha, ha.      We typically will dye about 10 dozen eggs and people get quite creative with their quotes and colors, as you can see. Many of the eggs are a bit risque for these pages. After having a few laughs, we hide the eggs. All of them are never found, which is cool. It is amusing to see old men (me) and all ages of folks, walking around with a basket on their arm. Some of the hiding spots are dastardly. Like eggs hidden in the guttering downspouts and ten foot up a tree. The kids are perhaps the most devious at hiding the colorful orbs, goi...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Biscuit

    Hey, everyone. What a relief that Christmas is over, huh? I don't think it was meant to be the way it is.     I started thinking about the so-called good 'ole days today. My wife says that at her house, they would take a left-over biscuit and shine their shoes before church. I one-upped her by saying, "Oh, yeah? I ate the biscuit when everyone got finished with it. And I was grateful for it." Truly, though, you can and people did, shine their shoes with a biscuit. Hey, they were greasy little buggers.     Speaking of greasy little buggers, I remember when everyone had wells and were very conservative about water, particularly those of us who had to crank a handle up and down to get a bucket of water. There was no daily bath. (No showers in those days, mate.) About twice a week we took a bath and here's the recipe: The oldest kid took a bath first, then the next oldest etc. You can see why younger siblings hated the older. Bathing in the...
Post a Comment
Read more