Zombies As Scapegoats

    Hey, everyone. Today I want to stand up for the underdogs. It has become apparent to me that zombies are the new societal scapegoats. If we have a bad day, we go home and slay multitudes of zombies. If someone cuts us off in traffic or is rude to us in a store, we kill zombies. It seems that zombies are a crutch for people to channel their hatred and violence. I intend to sponsor a major psychological study concerning this phenomenon. For instance, has violence gone down in areas where people play a lot of zombie games? Is zombie-killing the real key to world peace? Can all the nations of the world band together and develop a huge video game? A game that all peoples of the world can play and kill zombies until we can all, at last, live in peace and love? A frustration-destroying genocide of the undead which will, at last, purge us of our barbaric lusts?
Oh sure, they are ugly. They are undead and ...dead. They drool and they smell bad. They wear shabby clothes and have grave-dirt on them. They are vilified in movies, television and games all over the world. They are wrongfully stereotyped as eating human brains, when only a small percentage of these pitiful creatures have this disgusting habit. Oh, yeah. They are easy to hate. At a time when it is politically incorrect to hate any creed, race, sex, or political party, the world needs an easy scapegoat. We can kill them without guilt or without looking at the dark side of our minds that wants to commit violent acts. There is no group like D.A.Z.E. (Dads Against Zombie Eliminators).
   If you have time, go to the app store and type in a search for all games that include zombie in the title. You'll be shocked. I think that no group in the world needs a good public relations firm like zombies.
    Who will be their advocate? Who will stand for them? Me, maybe, as soon as I finish this game in which I have killed 576 zombies with a shotgun.
    From the zombie-free zone, I'm CE Wills, the zombie advocate.

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