Zombies As Scapegoats

    Hey, everyone. Today I want to stand up for the underdogs. It has become apparent to me that zombies are the new societal scapegoats. If we have a bad day, we go home and slay multitudes of zombies. If someone cuts us off in traffic or is rude to us in a store, we kill zombies. It seems that zombies are a crutch for people to channel their hatred and violence. I intend to sponsor a major psychological study concerning this phenomenon. For instance, has violence gone down in areas where people play a lot of zombie games? Is zombie-killing the real key to world peace? Can all the nations of the world band together and develop a huge video game? A game that all peoples of the world can play and kill zombies until we can all, at last, live in peace and love? A frustration-destroying genocide of the undead which will, at last, purge us of our barbaric lusts?
Oh sure, they are ugly. They are undead and ...dead. They drool and they smell bad. They wear shabby clothes and have grave-dirt on them. They are vilified in movies, television and games all over the world. They are wrongfully stereotyped as eating human brains, when only a small percentage of these pitiful creatures have this disgusting habit. Oh, yeah. They are easy to hate. At a time when it is politically incorrect to hate any creed, race, sex, or political party, the world needs an easy scapegoat. We can kill them without guilt or without looking at the dark side of our minds that wants to commit violent acts. There is no group like D.A.Z.E. (Dads Against Zombie Eliminators).
   If you have time, go to the app store and type in a search for all games that include zombie in the title. You'll be shocked. I think that no group in the world needs a good public relations firm like zombies.
    Who will be their advocate? Who will stand for them? Me, maybe, as soon as I finish this game in which I have killed 576 zombies with a shotgun.
    From the zombie-free zone, I'm CE Wills, the zombie advocate.

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Shadowgun: Crushing The Driller On Level 4

Hey, everyone. Let's talk about the game called Shadowgun, the I-Pad game with which I have a love-hate relationship. Most of you who made it past the evil Cyber Lobster are doubtless locked in a death struggle with the Driller at the end of level 4. At this point you have been in the cave for a long time. The Driller breaks through the rock wall and chases you through the tunnel as you try to shoot out the green lights which slows the Driller down. If you are slick enough to shoot out all the lights and emerge from the cave, a rolling door crashes on the Driller and crushes his aggravating carcass. I have tried and failed to beat the Driller at least 250 times. I hate the Driller to the heights and depths my soul can reach. I hate it like a plague. I hate it with intensity of feeling. I hate it like a rich man hates taxes. Excuse me, I got carried away. We had a big dinner here at the green retreat and my friend Trevor was ...

Batman Lives In Washington, DC

Hey, everyone. I just read an interesting article on Washington Post.Com by Mike Rosenwald. It was titled Who Is the Route 29 Batman? This is a true story about a guy that the cops pulled over. The guy was driving a black Lamborghini with Batman plates. There were yellow Batman symbols on the doors. They had a video from the police car that showed him being pulled over. He was wearing a Bat-suit which he said cost him $5000. His gig is that he visits sick children in area hospitals and hands out Bat-Toys and Bat-books to cheer the kids up. His name is Lenny B. Robinson and he says that the 'B' stands for Batman. He is perfectly sane and is just a good dude trying to make a difference. He is a self-made millionaire and is currently having a duplicate of the Batmobile custom-made at a cost of $250,000. It was a hoot, watching the cops having their pictures made with the Bat Guy. Someone asked him where Robin was and he said that the boy won...

A Postscript

Hey. I just tried the update for Shadowgun on my old I-Pad. The graphics are even better than ever, if you can believe that. The rolling feature is a nice defensive weapon during battles. It is activated by a small button next to the fire button. It was kinda cool. On my old Padster, I was on the level where you kill the Cyberlobster for the first time. I certainly settled his hash a lot faster this time. I hid behind a shield and popped up and down, blasting the yellow ball that signifies his AI controls. I must say that, at least on the I-Pad 1, there is a bit of crashing, in spots, with this update. I am sure they will fix this quickly. I haven't played the new levels because my I-Pad 2 is charging and you can't play the new section, called The Leftover Expansion Pack , until you have finished the game. Very cool that they didn't charge for this update. Class. I am looking forward to Shadowgun 2. From the lair of the Cyberlobster, this is CE Wi...

CE Wills

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