Skip to main content

Zombies As Scapegoats

    Hey, everyone. Today I want to stand up for the underdogs. It has become apparent to me that zombies are the new societal scapegoats. If we have a bad day, we go home and slay multitudes of zombies. If someone cuts us off in traffic or is rude to us in a store, we kill zombies. It seems that zombies are a crutch for people to channel their hatred and violence. I intend to sponsor a major psychological study concerning this phenomenon. For instance, has violence gone down in areas where people play a lot of zombie games? Is zombie-killing the real key to world peace? Can all the nations of the world band together and develop a huge video game? A game that all peoples of the world can play and kill zombies until we can all, at last, live in peace and love? A frustration-destroying genocide of the undead which will, at last, purge us of our barbaric lusts?
    Oh sure, they are ugly. They are undead and ...dead. They drool and they smell bad. They wear shabby clothes and have grave-dirt on them. They are vilified in movies, television and games all over the world. They are wrongfully stereotyped as eating human brains, when only a small percentage of these pitiful creatures have this disgusting habit. Oh, yeah. They are easy to hate. At a time when it is politically incorrect to hate any creed, race, sex, or political party, the world needs an easy scapegoat. We can kill them without guilt or without looking at the dark side of our minds that wants to commit violent acts. There is no group like D.A.Z.E. (Dads Against Zombie Eliminators).
     If you have time, go to the app store and type in a search for all games that include zombie in the title. You'll be shocked. I think that no group in the world needs a good public relations firm like zombies.
    Who will be their advocate? Who will stand for them? Me, maybe, as soon as I finish this game in which I have killed 576 zombies with a shotgun.
    From the zombie-free zone, I'm CE Wills, the zombie advocate.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The White Chicken Mystery

    The other night I happened to come home very late. It was the middle of the night and I was driving up a steep mountain road. Near the top I saw something white in my headlights. It was standing in the other lane, standing very still. It was a large white chicken. It was probably a rooster because I thought I could see his comb as I whizzed by at my customary pace. He never moved a muscle. This is weird, don't you think?      After a couple of days to consider this phenomenon, I have come up with some plausible answers for his bizarre behavior. 1. He was conflicted whether or not he should cross the road. 2. He was feeling cocky and decided to play chicken with the traffic. 3.He was being hen-pecked at home and had decided to end it all. 4. Someone had egged him on to do it. 5. He had just watched the movie Fantastic Four and decided to try to stop a truck the way that Ben Grimm did on the bridge. 6. He had driven himself crazy wondering if ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Egg Art

     Hey, everyone. One of the odd customs in America is the Easter Egg Hunt. Here at the Green Retreat, we do a hunt every Spring. I just ran across some of the pictures from this years hunt and it is obvious that an artist had sneaked into our midst. The orange egg is a rendering of one of the Angry Birds of gaming lore. If I were a bird and had to pass an egg that size, I would be angry too. Ha, ha.      We typically will dye about 10 dozen eggs and people get quite creative with their quotes and colors, as you can see. Many of the eggs are a bit risque for these pages. After having a few laughs, we hide the eggs. All of them are never found, which is cool. It is amusing to see old men (me) and all ages of folks, walking around with a basket on their arm. Some of the hiding spots are dastardly. Like eggs hidden in the guttering downspouts and ten foot up a tree. The kids are perhaps the most devious at hiding the colorful orbs, goi...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Biscuit

    Hey, everyone. What a relief that Christmas is over, huh? I don't think it was meant to be the way it is.     I started thinking about the so-called good 'ole days today. My wife says that at her house, they would take a left-over biscuit and shine their shoes before church. I one-upped her by saying, "Oh, yeah? I ate the biscuit when everyone got finished with it. And I was grateful for it." Truly, though, you can and people did, shine their shoes with a biscuit. Hey, they were greasy little buggers.     Speaking of greasy little buggers, I remember when everyone had wells and were very conservative about water, particularly those of us who had to crank a handle up and down to get a bucket of water. There was no daily bath. (No showers in those days, mate.) About twice a week we took a bath and here's the recipe: The oldest kid took a bath first, then the next oldest etc. You can see why younger siblings hated the older. Bathing in the...
Post a Comment
Read more