Skip to main content

Zombies As Scapegoats

    Hey, everyone. Today I want to stand up for the underdogs. It has become apparent to me that zombies are the new societal scapegoats. If we have a bad day, we go home and slay multitudes of zombies. If someone cuts us off in traffic or is rude to us in a store, we kill zombies. It seems that zombies are a crutch for people to channel their hatred and violence. I intend to sponsor a major psychological study concerning this phenomenon. For instance, has violence gone down in areas where people play a lot of zombie games? Is zombie-killing the real key to world peace? Can all the nations of the world band together and develop a huge video game? A game that all peoples of the world can play and kill zombies until we can all, at last, live in peace and love? A frustration-destroying genocide of the undead which will, at last, purge us of our barbaric lusts?
    Oh sure, they are ugly. They are undead and ...dead. They drool and they smell bad. They wear shabby clothes and have grave-dirt on them. They are vilified in movies, television and games all over the world. They are wrongfully stereotyped as eating human brains, when only a small percentage of these pitiful creatures have this disgusting habit. Oh, yeah. They are easy to hate. At a time when it is politically incorrect to hate any creed, race, sex, or political party, the world needs an easy scapegoat. We can kill them without guilt or without looking at the dark side of our minds that wants to commit violent acts. There is no group like D.A.Z.E. (Dads Against Zombie Eliminators).
     If you have time, go to the app store and type in a search for all games that include zombie in the title. You'll be shocked. I think that no group in the world needs a good public relations firm like zombies.
    Who will be their advocate? Who will stand for them? Me, maybe, as soon as I finish this game in which I have killed 576 zombies with a shotgun.
    From the zombie-free zone, I'm CE Wills, the zombie advocate.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Biscuit

    Hey, everyone. What a relief that Christmas is over, huh? I don't think it was meant to be the way it is.     I started thinking about the so-called good 'ole days today. My wife says that at her house, they would take a left-over biscuit and shine their shoes before church. I one-upped her by saying, "Oh, yeah? I ate the biscuit when everyone got finished with it. And I was grateful for it." Truly, though, you can and people did, shine their shoes with a biscuit. Hey, they were greasy little buggers.     Speaking of greasy little buggers, I remember when everyone had wells and were very conservative about water, particularly those of us who had to crank a handle up and down to get a bucket of water. There was no daily bath. (No showers in those days, mate.) About twice a week we took a bath and here's the recipe: The oldest kid took a bath first, then the next oldest etc. You can see why younger siblings hated the older. Bathing in the...
Post a Comment
Read more

The White Chicken Mystery

    The other night I happened to come home very late. It was the middle of the night and I was driving up a steep mountain road. Near the top I saw something white in my headlights. It was standing in the other lane, standing very still. It was a large white chicken. It was probably a rooster because I thought I could see his comb as I whizzed by at my customary pace. He never moved a muscle. This is weird, don't you think?      After a couple of days to consider this phenomenon, I have come up with some plausible answers for his bizarre behavior. 1. He was conflicted whether or not he should cross the road. 2. He was feeling cocky and decided to play chicken with the traffic. 3.He was being hen-pecked at home and had decided to end it all. 4. Someone had egged him on to do it. 5. He had just watched the movie Fantastic Four and decided to try to stop a truck the way that Ben Grimm did on the bridge. 6. He had driven himself crazy wondering if ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Sweet Run

   Hey, everyone. I have been playing quite a bit of games this weekend, as well as painting my house. Late last night I got on a sweet run on Nova 3 , the sci-fi shooter game. It's one of those games that has excellent graphics and feels like you have to advance inch by bloody inch. In a word, it is a pain in the butt.     For instance, I have been stuck on a Volterite spaceship for a month, wandering corridors over and over again like a lost puppy.     I finally cruised over to You Tube and watched a video walkthrough of the level. I eventually noticed that the guy picked up a piece of crystal from the floor in a dark corner of a 'solarium'. So, I went back to the game and at length came back to that area and picked up a crystal shard. Cool, right? I went on my way rejoicing in my heart. I had wild visions of advancing effortlessly through the remainder of this derelict ship and moving on to other exciting levels. Maybe I'd get to go to a dese...
Post a Comment
Read more