Game Review: Zombie Infection HD

    Hey, everyone. I had a pleasant surprise last night. As you know, I am a poor gamer and get stuck on every shooter game, numerous times. Many times I will give up on one and delete it. I bought Zombie Infection HD over a year ago, when it was on sale for 99 cents. In this game you are a guy who goes to South America to combat an outbreak of zombie infection. Hence the title. I had played it quite a bit and had battled my way to a spot where you have to cross a swamp. You have a choice of two bridges. I was hopelessly stuck because a huge alligator rose from the water and smashed through the bridge and devoured my scrawny butt. (No accounting for taste). So, I was going to delete it last night (the game, not my butt) and thought I'd try it one more time. I selected my shotgun and crept slowly onto the bridge with my gun pointed into the calm waters of the bay.  You tend to draw up, expecting the violent attack. When it came I started shooting and hitting both buttons and my guy jumped to the other bridge. Wonder upon wonders, dumb luck prevailed where skill had failed! Then as I ran along that bridge, I had to jump back over to the first bridge to escape death. By the way, there are zombies trying to kill you as you try to cross the bridges, as though you don't have enough troubles.
    When I cross the bridge I find myself in a zoo and I am ecstatic to see that my game has been saved at this point. Yay! I will never have to cross that ***** bridge again! There is another massive zombie attack, however. After I ventilate them all with my trusty shotgun, I start kicking open crates to find ammo and looking behind things to find these curios that seem to have no use whatever. At this point there is a bit of a mystery concerning how to get through a wrought iron gate. I tried to shoot it with a shotgun, even. Then I walked up to a ticket office and after killing more zombozos who thought to trap me inside, I found something to open the door in the other building. Sorry, I forgot what it was. You walk up to it and an icon appears on your screen. You tap the icon and rotate a wheel or something. You know the drill by now. Hey, I'm old, okay?
     This particular gate has a big sign over it which indicates it is the reptile pit, which makes me ask the game, out loud, to the amusement of my wife, "Are you sure it's a good idea to go in here?" The green arrow assures me that it is okay, so I go in. When I am stupid enough to do the arrow's bidding and climb down a ladder, I am immediately attacked, not only by more zombies but by a lion. Trust me, you need to kill the lion first. Also, like most of these action games, it is no shame to run and shoot, run and shoot. Why stand still when a zombie is munching on you like a granola bar?
    Another sticky wicket is near at hand after this battle. You have to go down to the docks at the zoo. You fight a major battle against a horde of zombies. Trust me, use the machine gun which is mounted on the deck. When you start out onto the docks themselves you encounter a mutated alligator who bites off huge chunks of docks. He is as big as a house and, curiously enough, is a coward. He attacks while your back is turned and bites your rear. When blood appears on the screen you know that you must turn around and shoot it. The pistol works better here because it shoots faster and when you start to turn around the monster slithers back in the water. He has a health bar and you can see it go down as you shoot. I remarked to Carley that he was a chicken alligator because of the attack from the rear thing. She figures that the gator was able to grow so big because he attacked from the rear and ate a lot of people. Whatever.
   So, I am stuck at this gator for a while. Then I start to try it again and I see 'Skip' appear on the screen. I figure this is to offer the option of skipping the 'cut scene'. You know, the little movie part that you watch but don't play? Anyway, I hit the skip button and it skips the battle with the alligator completely. Hey, I'm happy about it because I loathe getting stuck. Cool, huh?
    So now, My character talks to a bunch of rebels. He then goes and talks to an associate of his. A chick named Alex. When the guy leaves, you are suddenly the lady. She is now your avatar. I don't know if the developers were bi-guys or what. That's a joke. Ha, ha. I put that aside and roll with Alex as my avatar. She gets trapped in an old mine shortly thereafter and things get intense. There are zombies which are 12 feet tall, zombies with shovels, fires, pits to jump and even a zombie with a chain saw. He scared the crapola out of yours truly. Trust me, when you fight this dude, run to the tripod and use the Gatling gun/machine gun.
    Speaking of intense. The game is good at putting the fear in you. The zombies talk in another language and attack you from behind, unexpectedly. There is a suddenness and a violence which is so powerful that I began to get acid stomach. Yeah, I know, this is pathetic.
    The game is currently $4.99. There is a free version also. I don't know if you want to wait for a sale or not. For 99 cents, I wasn't taking much of a chance. 
     Let me tell you a few things so you don't hate me for buying this game. The controls are not great, the graphics are good, though a little blocky. The game is old by app store standards. It doesn't even have in-app purchases. How cool is that? I rate it as 4 stars out of 5, now. There was a time when I wouldn't take it if it had been free. Be sure to hit menu, then read the help section. It took me over a year to do that and cost me dearly in wasted time. I suppose that I thought that if I hit the 'help' button that the developers would send a guy to the house and show me what buttons to push. I don't remember. I didn't want to put them to all that trouble, or something. That's a joke.Until last night I picked up med packs but didn't know how to use them. Then I saw that you have to hit pause, then find the med packs in your index of items collected, then select the med pack for your healing. You can even do this in the middle of a battle so that you can get past a difficult place without dying. Because dying is a bad thing.
    From the author's green retreat, I'm CE Wills.