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Game Review: Rage

    The game called Rage has been available for I-Pad for months. I had resisted the urge to buy it because:
1. I heard it was short in length, with very few levels because it was like a preview of the full game. The full version is supposed to come out in 2011.
2. I heard it was gory.
3. The story line seemed like it could have been better. I mean, why say that you are participating in a futuristic game show? With an ugly commentator and no Vanna White? Why not have a dramatic story line like  this? Your friend has been captured and taken underground into these creepy tunnels by a bunch of zombies so you go after him.
     This game is really good. I'd rate it at least 4 stars out of 5 and probably 5 stars out of 5. For one thing I love the fact that the developers gave me an easy button. No matter how terrific a game is, it's no good if you get stuck on a difficult spot early on. Are you hearing me, Nova 2?
    The game play is not just fast-paced and exciting, it is intense. It is an adrenaline rush. You are wandering through dark, gloomy asylums, tunnels and other spooky places. You walk into a room and this monstrous, undead Fred sort of guy is crouched over food on the floor. I am glad to be ignorant of exactly what he is eating. His table manners are atrocious. He eats with his mouth open, slobbers and mutters gibberish. Eating off the floor can't really be sanitary, can it?
      His buddies are jumping off balconies, over bars, crawling out of holes in the floor. They are coming for you! They are hideous in appearance. They are dressed in rags with nary a coat and tie in the lot. Just because they are dead doesn't mean they can ignore the social conventions, does it?
    These guys are anti-social. They like to throw bricks, which is freaky feeling. Try not to duck. I haven't figured out how to do an on-screen dodge yet, but I sure jerk backward. (To no avail ) I know that there is a way to avoid the hits, by the way. I did shoot a few bricks in mid-air. My man, Clint Eastwood, couldn't beat that. It would be perfect if I had a cheroot to smoke as I walked into the tunnels. Yeah, and some of that cool whistling music from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. My, oh my, there is a lot of ugly! I do wish they had the option to turn off the blood splatter. Lame, I know.
    If you don't shoot the zombies before they get close, they pull out these weapons that are not really hoes or an ax but some sort of homemade tool. Your health, which is shown in a bar across the bottom of the screen, is negatively impacted by these zombies chopping on you. It is a bloody drag, as the Brits would say. If your health bar hits zero, you are history.
    This game is about as much fun as the law allows for the princely sum of 99 cents. It is $1.99 for the HD version. I cheaped out and bought the 99 cent version. I know, birds fly by me and cry out, "Cheap, cheap, cheap!"
    Whichever version you get, the graphics are awesome. The HD version is close to a whole Gig in size and the version I bought is over half a Gig. It plays buttery smooth on my I-Pad 2. The game is a bargain. It is loads of fun.
      From the futuristic dungeons of earth, I'm CE Wills.

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