Hey, everyone. I was informed by a young person the other day that I am what is known as a casual gamer. I was somewhat aware of this but blissfully unconcerned. Upon reflection, I decided to figure out what constitutes a casual gamer and a hardcore gamer. This is tongue in cheek, so no poison e-mail, please.
CASUAL
1. Plays on his phone, I-Pad, or other multi-use device.
2. Buys his own games.
3. If he bought a game that cost more than $9.99, he would need therapy to deal with the guilt feelings.
4. Does not relish a challenge. In fact, he bashes Angry Birds in app store reviews for being too hard. In fact, this person resembles Goldilocks with the porridge belonging to the three bears. This game is too hard, this game is too easy, this game is "Sigh," just right.
5. Tends to have around 100 games on his mobile device. Plays each one until slightly irritated, then deletes them. Fortunately, most of them are either free or cost 99 cents.
6. Fancies himself a gamer but goodness knows, if he were, he would have an X-Box 360.
7. Distrusts any sort of multiplayer action, push notifications, badges or awards. Known to place a glass bottle on his doorknob like Jerry in Conspiracy Theory.
8. Fantasy vacation, Disneyworld.
9. Uses the options menu to turn off the blood in all new games.
10. Drives a car with four doors and may read books in his spare time.
11. Occasionally eats things other than pizza.
HARD-CORE
1. Probably doesn't work for a living. If he does, he hates his job and rushes home to his 'Isolation Chamber'.
2. Doesn't own a gun, but has a bumper sticker that states "If you take my X-Box, you'll have to pry it from my cold dead hand."
3. Wears camo clothing while playing war games.
4. Thinks nothing of spending $40 dollars for a game. Hey, Mom and Dad have plenty of cash.
5. Seeks elite status in gaming. Will devote hours per day to climbing global leaderboards and has his own carefully selected group of commandos to watch his back and protect his flank during assaults on castles and stuff. (During multiplayer action)
6. Uses the word 'Dude' a lot.
6. Loves to watch game action instant replay, of himself, on his Kinect system.
7. Has a friendly contempt for Apple Fanboys, the app store and the games thereon. Known to state flatly that no game worth its salt could be free, or a mere 99 cents.
8. He is required by law to have at least one gaming poster on the wall of his 'sanctuary'.
9. Thinks that any game without blood is 'lame'.
10. Considers Japanese anime an art form and has a large collection of posters, comics and videos of sword wielding women.
11. Fantasy vacation, Gaming Developers Conference.
From the casual gamer's retreat, I'm CE Wills.
CASUAL
1. Plays on his phone, I-Pad, or other multi-use device.
2. Buys his own games.
3. If he bought a game that cost more than $9.99, he would need therapy to deal with the guilt feelings.
4. Does not relish a challenge. In fact, he bashes Angry Birds in app store reviews for being too hard. In fact, this person resembles Goldilocks with the porridge belonging to the three bears. This game is too hard, this game is too easy, this game is "Sigh," just right.
5. Tends to have around 100 games on his mobile device. Plays each one until slightly irritated, then deletes them. Fortunately, most of them are either free or cost 99 cents.
6. Fancies himself a gamer but goodness knows, if he were, he would have an X-Box 360.
7. Distrusts any sort of multiplayer action, push notifications, badges or awards. Known to place a glass bottle on his doorknob like Jerry in Conspiracy Theory.
8. Fantasy vacation, Disneyworld.
9. Uses the options menu to turn off the blood in all new games.
10. Drives a car with four doors and may read books in his spare time.
11. Occasionally eats things other than pizza.
HARD-CORE
1. Probably doesn't work for a living. If he does, he hates his job and rushes home to his 'Isolation Chamber'.
2. Doesn't own a gun, but has a bumper sticker that states "If you take my X-Box, you'll have to pry it from my cold dead hand."
3. Wears camo clothing while playing war games.
4. Thinks nothing of spending $40 dollars for a game. Hey, Mom and Dad have plenty of cash.
5. Seeks elite status in gaming. Will devote hours per day to climbing global leaderboards and has his own carefully selected group of commandos to watch his back and protect his flank during assaults on castles and stuff. (During multiplayer action)
6. Uses the word 'Dude' a lot.
6. Loves to watch game action instant replay, of himself, on his Kinect system.
7. Has a friendly contempt for Apple Fanboys, the app store and the games thereon. Known to state flatly that no game worth its salt could be free, or a mere 99 cents.
8. He is required by law to have at least one gaming poster on the wall of his 'sanctuary'.
9. Thinks that any game without blood is 'lame'.
10. Considers Japanese anime an art form and has a large collection of posters, comics and videos of sword wielding women.
11. Fantasy vacation, Gaming Developers Conference.
From the casual gamer's retreat, I'm CE Wills.
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