Things I'd Like To See Again

1. My belt buckle
2. My hair
3. Gasoline at 29 cents a gallon. Yes, I have seen it.
4. The bottom of the ocean, as I flew into Nassau, Bahamas.
5. Athletes who played for the love of the game. Players who would rather lose than cheat, or try to injure a good player on the other team. Best I can remember, it was called sportsmanship.
6. The Grand Canyon.
7. My wife's smile when she was young and healthy and she had not had to endure the hardships and worries of life. I wish I could have done a better job sheltering her from...life.
8. John Denver.
9. John Wayne do anything.
10. The way Richard Gere walked when he was young, like in American Gigolo. The confidence, the health and the love of life. No, I'm not gay.
11. John Fogerty play the guitar.
12. Jerry Lee play the piano.
13. My kids when they started walking.
14. A huge bass break the water with my hook in its mouth.
15. A 1969 Plymouth Road Runner at 140 miles per hour. For all you folks in the metric system, that's fast.
16. Sleeping for 7 hours without going to the bathroom.
17. A field of sunflowers in Kansas.
18. Interstate 75 with light traffic.
19. Greg Maddux throw a baseball.
20. A refund on my income tax.
21. Sharon Stone cross her legs.
From the author's green retreat, I'm CE Wills.

Comments

The White Chicken Mystery

The other night I happened to come home very late. It was the middle of the night and I was driving up a steep mountain road. Near the top I saw something white in my headlights. It was standing in the other lane, standing very still. It was a large white chicken. It was probably a rooster because I thought I could see his comb as I whizzed by at my customary pace. He never moved a muscle. This is weird, don't you think? After a couple of days to consider this phenomenon, I have come up with some plausible answers for his bizarre behavior. 1. He was conflicted whether or not he should cross the road. 2. He was feeling cocky and decided to play chicken with the traffic. 3.He was being hen-pecked at home and had decided to end it all. 4. Someone had egged him on to do it. 5. He had just watched the movie Fantastic Four and decided to try to stop a truck the way that Ben Grimm did on the bridge. 6. He had driven himself crazy wondering if ...

Cake Is Better Than Swords

Hey, everyone. On Thanksgiving, we had a get-together here at The Author's Green Retreat. One lady brought a cake which I wanted to show you. It had the look of a Roman Coliseum about it. Inside it was just as decadent...and fun, as ancient Rome. When I cut it open, homemade marshmallow cream began to ooze out in several spots, running over the chocolate cake and peanut butter icing. It is best served warm so the cream is fluid. Very tasty. The same lady, and her children, are people who have played a lot of Skyrim. They gave me some pointers on the game because I am having problems with it. They taught me how to fast travel, and a ton of other things, but the main thing was the armor and clothing problem. This is a little embarrassing, but let me explain. Okay. For several weeks when I played, I would enter towns and everyone I met would comment on my nakedness. I would select a tunic and shoes, whatever, go back around people and they would say something about it. I guess I w...

Egg Art

Hey, everyone. One of the odd customs in America is the Easter Egg Hunt. Here at the Green Retreat, we do a hunt every Spring. I just ran across some of the pictures from this years hunt and it is obvious that an artist had sneaked into our midst. The orange egg is a rendering of one of the Angry Birds of gaming lore. If I were a bird and had to pass an egg that size, I would be angry too. Ha, ha. We typically will dye about 10 dozen eggs and people get quite creative with their quotes and colors, as you can see. Many of the eggs are a bit risque for these pages. After having a few laughs, we hide the eggs. All of them are never found, which is cool. It is amusing to see old men (me) and all ages of folks, walking around with a basket on their arm. Some of the hiding spots are dastardly. Like eggs hidden in the guttering downspouts and ten foot up a tree. The kids are perhaps the most devious at hiding the colorful orbs, goi...

CE Wills

Search This Blog