How To Quit Writing Novels

Hey, everyone. I thought I'd do a listing of ways that you can quit writing novels. Should you ever want to.
1. Buy an I-Pad. The tablet is a great productivity killer. You spend more time with it than TV, if you can believe that. It is a monster for entertainment. Hey, why write when I can have fun?
2. Start a blog. I started this blog as a casual thing. Now, after 15 months and 256 posts, I've found that it consumes a lot of time. But hey, I like it. As you age you need to develop interests and hobbies. Plus, it's less work than writing books.
3. Work full time. I've found that working a job interferes somewhat with fun and hobbies. They expect you to be there and do things. Barbaric.
4. Hate typing. If you hate typing, this will certainly impact your novel production.
5. Try to deal with E-Pub Check. Mind reading is not my strong suit.
6. Become a web-searching, touch screen tapping, netflix and Baggage watching, sit on the deck and listen to music, track studying and read other writers books, geek-a-zoid.
7. Become a hard-core gamer. Play endless games with a fervor. Then cast them aside when you tire of them.
8. Renovate a house. A time burner; plus, dealing with a bunch of challenging chores occupies your mind to the exclusion of your imaginary friends of bookdom.
9. Wander aimlessly through space and cut stupid cables with a plasma saw, thanks to your friends at Dead Space who didn't make an easy button for their game. But hey, I have to give them credit because they just issued an update that enables you to actually fight necromorphs. It's called survival mode and the update is free.
10.Move to Jamaica and live in the same beach house with Jimmy Buffett, Keith Richards and Jack Nicholson. You'll never write again. What's more, you'll never worry about it. Or anything else.

Comments

Shadowgun: Crushing The Driller On Level 4

Hey, everyone. Let's talk about the game called Shadowgun, the I-Pad game with which I have a love-hate relationship. Most of you who made it past the evil Cyber Lobster are doubtless locked in a death struggle with the Driller at the end of level 4. At this point you have been in the cave for a long time. The Driller breaks through the rock wall and chases you through the tunnel as you try to shoot out the green lights which slows the Driller down. If you are slick enough to shoot out all the lights and emerge from the cave, a rolling door crashes on the Driller and crushes his aggravating carcass. I have tried and failed to beat the Driller at least 250 times. I hate the Driller to the heights and depths my soul can reach. I hate it like a plague. I hate it with intensity of feeling. I hate it like a rich man hates taxes. Excuse me, I got carried away. We had a big dinner here at the green retreat and my friend Trevor was ...

Faerie In a Glass Jar

Hey, everyone. Sometimes gaming can be high-pressure. Take tonight, for instance. I was playing the excellent puzzle game titled 4 Elements #2. I have already done a review of it so I won't attempt to do so again. You have to match symbols and use 'power-ups' to get molten lava to flow around a board and bring life back to a faerie world. Cool. That's what I do. I'm into it. There are also a variety of mini-puzzles such as hidden objects and even putting together a jigsaw puzzle. Hey, when I get in trouble I call Carley. Anyway, tonight, Carley wasn't around when a crisis struck. I was confronted with a faerie in a glass jar. She was crying for help. She said that she was running out of air. Every minute or two she would rattle the jar. In order to free her, I had to find all these objects and use them. Like there were some missing books. Then there was the pieces of a torch. When I found them I could light all the candles. I found the pieces of ...

Book Review: Box

Hey, everyone. I just finished the latest novel by John Locke. It is titled Box . It is the story of a world renowned surgeon named, coincidentally, Gideon Box. Dr. Box is brilliant in his chosen field of endeavor but less skilled in anything that involves social interaction. He can't get along with people and is so bad at relationships that his flings at 'romance' normally involve strippers, lap dances and on-line dating services. After a grueling operation, Box goes on a bender that involves going to visit three women in rural Kentucky that he 'met' on line. I would like to say that these women run the gamut between harmless and dangerous but that would be a misrepresentation. They are all dangerous. One of them has lied about all her particulars. Worse than that, she has pet seahorses and makes a particular powder that can be used as a weapon. The powder contains ground glass, among other things. Without giving ...

CE Wills

Search This Blog