Skip to main content

Game Review: Plumber Crack

    Hey, everyone. One of the most popular games on IOS right now is called Plumber Crack. Yes, you heard right. To say that this is a different kind of game is putting it mildly. Here's the recipe for this mildly disturbing walk on the wild side.
      You have an obese plumber to come over. He is wearing low-riders and working underneath your kitchen sink. There is an ice cube on the screen before you. You must flick the ice with your finger and send it flying down the plumber's pants. When you hit the bull's-eye the poor dude hits his head on the pipes and sees stars. Sometimes he reaches back to 'dig for gold' or merely pulls his pants up.
    As you hit the target, a meter fills up on the left side. Coins fall from the dude's pocket when he writhes about due to chills. Gathering the coins fills the meter. When you fill the meter, you are awarded 'Crack Bucks'. I am not kidding. With these rewards you can buy some very interesting things. Some are a bit disturbing. ( I say this in a joking way, I think).
     Okay, here it is. You can buy stuff to dress your plumber in. Things like a cheerleader outfit. Or a plaid skirt. Or a basketball uniform. I would like to get him a superhero costume but it costs 50 crack bucks. I only had three crack bucks so I bought my dude a butterfly tattoo. That disturbs me a little, that I did this. Because, 1) I actually thought it was funny and 2) I spent my three crack bucks and now I have to save more money to buy him the Elvis outfit.
    By the way, the game is free. There are 4 modes in this game. I normally play the 'Zen' mode but it still disturbs my tranquility. The game tells me occasionally that I am a sniper, by the way, so I have that going for me. Good to know that all those hours playing Modern Combat 3: Fallen Pants Nation were not wasted. Hey, another cute thing this game says is when you throw an ice cube high on the dude's back and it slides down. They call that a spinerider.
    On a related subject, I just went over to my game called Modern Combat 3 and it said that my copy of this game might have been obtained illegally. ???!! What the heck? I bought it from the app store last year and have had no problem with it until today. (Except getting stuck all the time.) I did do an update to it today...
    By the way, a friend sent me an e-mail concerning the I-Pad 3's battery. It seems some folks did a tear down on the new device. I'll provide the link below. http://arstechnica.com/apple/news/2012/03/ipad-3-teardown-my-god-its-full-of-lithium-ions.arshttp://arstechnica.com/apple/news/2012/03/ipad-3-teardown-my-god-its-full-of-lithium-ions.ars
   I'll probably blog once more this weekend. Hope you can check out the blog again. From the author's green retreat, I'm CE Wills.
P.S. The first use of the retina display for this I-Pad was used for the plumber with the butterfly tattoo. Hey, maybe I can write him into The Dan Tattoo. He could meet Mandy and they could compare body art...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Shadowgun: Crushing The Driller On Level 4

      Hey, everyone. Let's talk about the game called Shadowgun, the I-Pad game with which I have a love-hate relationship. Most of you who made it past the evil Cyber Lobster are doubtless locked in a death struggle with the Driller at the end of level 4. At this point you have been in the cave for a long time. The Driller breaks through the rock wall and chases you through the tunnel as you try to shoot out the green lights which slows the Driller down. If you are slick enough to shoot out all the lights and emerge from the cave, a rolling door crashes on the Driller and crushes his aggravating carcass. I have tried and failed to beat the Driller at least 250 times. I hate the Driller to the heights and depths my soul can reach. I hate it like a plague. I hate it with intensity of feeling. I hate it like a rich man hates taxes. Excuse me, I got carried away.       We had a big dinner here at the green retreat and my friend Trevor was ...

You're Aiming the Missile Where?

    Hey, everyone, out there in game-land. The number 1 game on the friendly neighborhood app store is Call of Duty: Strike Team . No wonder, because it is a terrific game. The farther I play, the cooler it gets. But before I get to that, what are all these numbers indicating on my gun? Has to be some sort of ammo indicator for the clips, I guess. either that or some of my compadres has trouble doing his math homework. Whatever.     Hey. Check out the picture of me hitching a ride on an enemy truck so that my team can infiltrate a missile silo. Do you like the face mask? I bought it at a store called Fashions by Bane. Ha, ha. (Batman Reference) On this mission, my team was assisted by a Russian Spetsnaz squad. How's that for detente, comrade? These Spetsnaz guys make everything fun. What I mean is this. We shoot bunches of enemies and get into the bowels of the silo. We get to the gantry where the missile is (Pictured above) and we see that the rad...

Shadowgun: Killing The Windbreaker

    Hey, everyone. I thought it might be a good time for a bit of an update on the riveting game called Shadowgun. Consider this your spoiler alert and tune out if you want to.     Once you get past the dreaded Driller, things get better but you are certainly not out of the woods. You will want to make sure you keep a full clip in your gun as you stroll through the realm of the evil and crazy Dr. Simon. But hey, you're John Slade, the Shadowgun, and wherever you set your foot is the place to which your authority extends.      I love the way that some of the barriers disintegrate under the impact of bullets. I didn't learn this at my mother's knee but I darn sure know it now. I have learned that there are certain places it is good to plan on using the rocket launcher. Keep your stock of those filled. There are these transporter guys who are aggressive punks. The only way they respect you is if you kill them, so that's the way I roll. As...