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The Second Crack and Angry Birds Space


     Hey, everyone. One of the signs of the times is the entry of  women into the trades. Plumbing is a good example. This week an update to the hugely popular game called Plumber Crack appeared on the app store and was eagerly downloaded by several million sharpshooters. Ice cubes started flying all over the planet with a new target: a lady plumber.
    It seemed a bit more 'natural' to flick the ice cubes now. It didn't bother me to buy this lady a butterfly tattoo. I liked the way she giggled, quite lady-like, when I found my target. Is it my imagination or do I have to throw the ice harder now?
    Someone asked me a question the other day. Let me think... oh, yeah. They asked me how to achieve the highly coveted Sharpshooter Award. The answer is that you must achieve a throw that lands the ice cube in its place without it bouncing around. More or less a straight shot, or in basketball parlance, nothing butt net.
    I hope that you appreciate that I haven't used all the bad puns at my disposal. As surely as the moon rises tonight I could have made some silly jokes about this game. Like, for instance, "it cracks me up". Or, "This game is not all it is cracked up to be". I refrained from doing so.
     Hey, I bet a lot of you guys are sitting in a theater, watching Hunger Games, even as I write this. The story looks intriguing and I wish that I had gone to see it instead of painting all day. I did, however, download the free video game by the same name. It is largely just a promotional thing, for the movie, but it is okay. Your avatar is a young girl with a bow and arrows. You run and shoot giant fireflies. I think that there are some bees, also. I have never seen bees that spit globs of green slime at you but then again I have never left Earth.
    Speaking of leaving Earth, I bought the latest game about those outraged avians, Angry Birds, Space. I am not a big fan of this series, because it is not my style of game, but I like this one the best of any in the series. I sprang for the non HD version, which is a paltry 99 cents. It is well worth that price, even without zombies, guns or cool explosions. What is up with that pig that has an orange mustache and eyebrows???
     It is cool to judge the effects of orbital drag, gravity and the like. Pigs hide in fields of frozen space debris. Once I shot a bird (sounds like something done in traffic) all the way around a planet and struck a grinning pig who thought himself safely hidden behind concrete blocks. Gravity pulled that baby right down on his head!
    Another scenario I liked was this: The pigs were floating in space in their little suits of glass, so that they had oxygen. When I struck one, his glass bubble shattered, then his face turned all grey before he poofed out of existence. I know that sounds malicious of me, but hey, the dude stole my eggs. That is equivalent to throwing an ice cube down my crack. Either one will get you hurt, at the author's green retreat.
   I'm CE Wills.

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