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Movie Review: John Carter

    Hey, everyone. I went to see John Carter today and I really enjoyed it. I was shocked that the movie was only showing 3 times all day at the theater where I saw it. Another theater, which I sometimes go to, only showed it twice. I think that the movie should do very well but how can it if it is disrespected like this? Normally, when a blockbuster comes out it is on about every hour with 3 or 4 screens showing it at each of the bigger theaters. Did the producers make someone mad? Anyway, here's the recipe for this show.
    John Carter, a Confederate soldier during the War Between The States, is transported to Mars by a medallion that he has taken from a Martian. This Martian belongs to a race of men know as the Therns. They are the only white men on Barsoom, which is what the Martians call Mars. These Therns have instigated a false religion in order to control the red planet's people. They have even ventured to earth with their schemes. They are held in reverence by the green martians, who have 4 arms, and the red martians, who are built like Earthlings.
   When John Carter appears on Mars he is captured by the Tharks. This is a nation of savage green men to whom every softer sentiment is considered a weakness. (We on Earth are heading in that direction, I fear.) It is apparent that the lesser gravity of Barsoom gives Carter incredible leaping abilities and strength. A born warrior, Carter becomes a chieftain of the Tharks and wins the friendship of their leader, Tars Tarkus.
     Dejah Thoris, a Princess of Helium, a nation prominent among the red men of Barsoom, is captured by the Tharks and John befriends her. Eventually they escape together. Dejah is in a bit of a pickle because her father, the Jeddak (King) is forcing her to wed Sab Than, the ruler of Zodanga. Zodanga is Helium's great enemy and they have the fair city 'on the ropes', as the boxers say. Clearly, Dejah loathes Sab Than but must marry the dude to save her nation. Such is the price of royal blood on any planet.
    To use a country expression, the appearance of John Carter of Virginia throws a monkey wrench in everyone's plans. He is a born warrior and a leader of men, even if those men have 4 arms and are 10 feet tall. John intends to save the princess, whom he loves, and stomp some Zodangan booty in the process.
    This movie has great special effects. The acting is pretty good and the story line is good, also. It was a treat for me to see the great white apes of Barsoom that I had read about. The faithful Woola will become a favorite, like the robots of Star Wars. Woola is like a guard dog for John Carter. Except he is as big as a rhino and runs faster than a gazelle. He is a fearsome fighter and is so ugly that he is cute. He is what the locals call a calot.
     There is no reason why this flick can not be the biggest movie of the summer. The odd sort of way its opening day is being handled makes me think that the powers that be in theater management may not want the movie to do well. I can't imagine why that would be. It doesn't make sense.
     I rate this show in two ways. To anyone who has read Edgar Rice Burroughs Mars series, this is a 5 star, must-see movie. To the rest of the populace it is probably a 4 star. It has action, romance, special effects, the whole enchilada. It lasts 2 hours and 12 minutes and there are a couple of slow parts. It takes some dialogue to introduce a whole planet with its culture and peoples.
    Taylor Kitsch plays in the title role with Lynn Collins as the lovely Dejah Thoris. William Dafoe stars as Tars Tarkus. Check it out, if you take the notion.
     From Barsoom, this is CE Wills.
P.S. I saw a preview for The Avengers today. It is coming out in May and looks very cool.

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